osinakayah 2 / 3 1 Oct 24, 2020 #1Essay for MasterCard Foundation Scholarship at University of Edinburgh in Education ChallengesReflecting on your life so far, tell us how you meet the key selection criteria for the Scholars Program. You should include information on your academic achievements and barriers to education you have facedThinking about my childhood and my Primary Education, I know I definitely did not get a quality Primary Education due to financial constraints, but that was something I never focused on or I ever thought would limit me. I knew I would get the best education at a higher level.My beliefs were re-enforced when I got the highest score in JAMB (The Joint Admissions and Matriculations Board) score in my secondary school. I got admission to Michael Okpara University of Agriculture to study Computer engineering. In my first year, I got a commendation letter from the school board due to my exceptional performance.My second year, turned out to be the greatest low of my life because my parents were in debt because they had to collect loans to pay my first-year tuition fees and accommodation fees. For a while, I almost lost faith and thought I would drop out. But I got to apply for a scholarship in my second year in the university and I was awarded the scholarship, and thanks to that, I was able to complete my university program. Though the scholarship only covered my tuition fees, accommodation and getting study materials was still a challenge, so I had to move to a less expensive apartment with a roommate and relied on online resources for school materials I could not afford to buy. At the end of my undergraduate program, I was able to graduate with an Upper-class degree in Computer Engineering.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,765 4768 Oct 24, 2020 #2You have focused too much on the barriers you faced. You need to offer more representation regarding how you embody the selection criteria for the scholars program. That means, you have to be specific about the criteria and why you believe you fulfill the requirement. You should pick at least 2 criteria to discuss. Do not focus too much on the challenges. You have to balance the discussion between challenges and embodiment. Otherwise, the essay sounds like a pity story and nothing more.The strength of the essay will come from how you specifically mention your qualifications based on the criteria of the scholarship program. I do not really see a reference to that at the moment. You need to refocus the essay. Do not wallow too much in the challenges you faced. It makes the essay lose the content balance.