Kindly give your constructive comments related to my essay. Thank you
Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.
My interest in Electric cars
During my undergrad studies, I had an inclination towards Mechatronics systems. In order to pursue that interest, I did many projects and took part in different competitions related to this field. Some of them are a Line Following Robot, an Obstacle Avoiding Rescue Robot, a Remote controlled Airplane and a 6 DOF Serial Mobile Manipulator Robot. These projects gave me a lot of understanding and insight about applications of Mechatronics. After Interning at Toyota in my 2nd year, I was deeply intrigued by vehicle making process and decided to do a project based on a fuel efficient Electric Prototype vehicle for Shell Eco Marathon Asia. This project gave me the perfect opportunity to enhance my technical skills in terms of automobile engineering as well as learn more about Mechatronics. I want to continue my research and work on mechatronics systems of electric cars further and gaining graduate education in Mechtronics, Automotive or Automotive Mechatronics will be a perfect way to do so. Being an upcoming technology, there is a huge room for innovation in this field. And since UK is the center of education and research in Europe, currently there is a lot of research going on over there related to this field. In addition to that, there are many automotive companies in the UK that are adopting the concept of electric cars for example Ford and Bentley Motors. I am hopeful to get a chance to intern or visit them during my studies which will be a highly learning experience for me. After completion of my MSc, I want to work in the R&D sector of the automotive industry and do further research on Autonomous Electric Vehicles. My interest in Electric cars is also influenced by the fact that it is a solution to the world's increasing vehicle pollution problem. I want to come up with an electric passenger vehicle prototype, which is cheap, environment friendly and safe on the road.@faraymajid
As I am a Chevening applicant too, so I might not be the perfect person to advise, but you may take the following in consideration:
- Make sure that the experience you mentioned in this essay is not not provided in your work experience section in the application.
- Try to show the exact courses you are applying for with mentioning the universities, informing the reason behind choosing each course.
- You may re-write your essay as it does not meet the requirements.
First, you may start with an introduction paragraph
Second, write three paragraphs, talk about each course university separately.
Third, you may would like to add an ending paragraph.
Hope my comment was helpful, and best of luck!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Faray, congratulations on having written your opening and closing statement for your UK study essay. The opening statement of your essay should start with and end with the following: "During my undergrad studies...Automotive or Automotive Mechatronics will be a perfect way to do so." Your closing paragrap should be: "Being an upcoming technology, ... safe on the road."
Now, in between these paragraphs, you must explain your university choices. First indicate the name of your chosen university and the course you have chosen to pursue there. It is important that you explain the potential impact of this course choice on your future career. That is why you need to explain that you have the academic foundation for the course. You have the professional experience that will help you complete the line of study, and finally, that you have some solid future plans for yourself where this particular course will not only be applicable, but will be the basis of your career progression.
Do that 3 times for the 3 courses and universities, apply the information that I indicated above, and the essay will be set for submission.
