hi, i need your opinions about my essay. thank you.
communication is the key to build a strong network
Chevening is looking for individuals with strong professional relationship-building skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Please explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples of how you currently do this, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future. (minimum: 100 words; maximum : 500 words)
Being a founding member of a Rotaract club and holding various positions within it, I have learned over the years that communication is the key to build a strong network. knowing how to dialogue strengthens not only the quality of the relationship between the members, but also our relations with other clubs, whether at the national or international level, as our community continues to grow around the world. Let us take as an example the internal relationship of our Club: In order to share common values we have set up values to respect such as trust, motivation and mutual respect. In addition, we organize monthly actions promoting these values as, team-building activities between members, brainstorming, and this, to better learn to know each other's character traits and get closer. We have also opted this method internationally, It has allowed us to establish links with clubs of the same family working for the same cause. The communication gave us the opportunity to share the culture of different countries such as Turkey, Egypt and Morocco, through meetings via Skype, or even invite them to Tunisia.
My professional experience has also taught me how to develop my communication and networking skills. Engaging with people beyond meetings really matters and it inspired me to keep pushing myself. Good relationships are also often necessary if I hope to develop my carrer by overcoming any unconscious fear of rejection by being positive, appreciating others, avoid gossiping and finally knowing how to get along with people.
If I became a Chevening scholar, my priority would be to meet other graduates from my field, and so I would have the opportunity to collaborate with the best UK financiers and work at the highest international level. I want to be part of the strong network of young leaders around the world because sharing my dreams and exchanging views with them will expand my horizon and shape my future goals.@skonpat
Hi. I'm here to give my feedback on this writing. Please inform me if you have more questions - and I'll be more than happy to assist.
First and foremost, be cautious of the structure of your sentences. The first sentence immediately can throw people off because of this reason. Instead of having such a complex sentence become your starter line, try to incorporate something a bit more straightforward. Truly having more direction in your writing will be beneficial to you in the long-run.
Furthermore, there is a clear imbalance in your writing. Notice how a chunk of information is only in a vacuum in the first paragraph, whereas the rest of writing appears to be rather empty and lacking in content? Try to avoid this. Always ensure that you have a balanced and well-thought out essay - this will improve your writing's appeal.
