Russia and China relationship. Career plan, Chevening. Feel free to comment, very nice of you all

Hello,
here is my essay for the chevening. Two are done, and I am satisfied with end result, as your comments made them only better!

Relationship between Russia and China reminds me a bridge, which is being constructed from the two sides of the river. Both countries are making great steps to get closer, but nothing is useful without supporting framework. I want to become this kind of the framework.

My short career plan for nearest 3-5 years is very clear. I plan to work for one of the International Business Consulting companies. I believe, after I finish my Master courses in the UK, I will have the required knowledge and skills. I want to focus mostly on business negotiations and lobbying Russian interests. I plan to get a promotion in 3 years and become a head of the department, my educational and work background, my network and leadership skills are making it realistic. Here I need to mention, that I plan to help Russian companies to enter Chinese market, however, I will mostly focus on attracting Chinese companies in Russia, as Russian Economy needs investments. For now most of the Chinese companies are trying to work on the European part of Russia, however, there are several problems to be solved: Chinese companies want to invest mostly in strategic industries, like electricity and water supply, agriculture and real estate and that meets a lot of misunderstanding and even paranoia from the people, which is obvious as many projects are signed to get the short-term profit rather than long-term. I plan to redirect the interest of Chinese companies from the European part to other parts of Russia and make them work within the innovation industry. This is required as Russia has a large research potential, however, researches leave country for better conditions. Attracting Chinese companies will let us create better conditions for researchers and Chinese companies will reduce their R&D costs. I believe, that my knowledge will let receive more mutually beneficial investments with minimum side effects.

In 10 years I see myself as a professional in business consulting and working with China. That will allow me to work independently or start my own business. I believe my experience would be useful not only in Russia, but in any country, as Chinese companies are one of most active investors in the world. However, my main goal is to work with the Government for the optimization of the current business conditions and supporting Russian part of New Silk Way project. I believe that if the project wold be realized correctly Russia can become a bridge, which connects the EU, the UK and China.

In the end, I want to tell, that one of my key-dreams is to share my knowledge and experience with others and follow in father's footsteps and become a professor. So I would love to run some open courses about Chinese business and management in 10-15 years.

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... steps to get closer, but nothing is useful withoutthe bridge has no supporting framework. I want to become this kindpart of the framework.

I believe,that after I finish my (...) and skillsI plan to work for one of ...
... business negotiations and lobbying Russian interests (what Russian interests). My educational and work backgroundas well as , my network and leadership skills are making it realisticmake me confident that I can get a promotionbe promoted in 3 years and (...) department, Here I need to mention,thatAlthough I plan to help Russian companies to enter the Chinese market, however , I will mostly (...) companies in to Russia, asbecause the Russian Ee conomy needs investments. For now most of theMany Chinese companies already[are tryingseek to work on (...) of Russia, however,but there are several (...) in strategic industries, likesuch as electricityand, the water supply, agriculture and real estate and that meets which produces (...) paranoia from the people Russian citizens, which is obvious as many projects are signed...

... companies from the European part os Russia to other parts (...) them work within the innovation industry research-based industries. This is required asnecessary because Russia has a large research potential, however,but researches typically leavethe country for better conditions.

... companies will letallow us to create better conditions for researchers, and Chinese companies ...
I believe, that my knowledge will...

... is to work with the Gg overnment for the optimization of ...

The end part about becoming a professor seems to come out of nowhere as you talk a lot about starting a business consulting firm and improving Russian-Chinese business relations and the Russian economy. I think you should say instead that you hope to provide an example for others and share your insights and knowledge, but not specifically that you would suddenly become a professor.

Ruslan, when you mention enticing the Chinese companies to enter the Russian market, remember to start a new paragraph for it. You should only discuss one topic at a time in each paragraph. Your first paragraph is already running too long as it is. So you need to separate the two thoughts by creating new paragraphs. Don't forget to add content development to each paragraph. If it is less than 5 sentences, the paragraph is too short. Also, discuss how much time you think it will take for you to develop the necessary framework to get it done. If it will take you all of 5 years, explain why that is.

Now, as for the professor part of your discussion, it does come out of nowhere. Taysha is right about that. However, I have a different take on how to handle it. You don't have to change your plans in order to make the essay work. Stick to what you really want to be. All you have to do, is create a transition paragraph between the framework discussion and enticing the Chinese companies to invest in Russia, then lead in with another paragraph that will explain how the years of knowledge you accumulated will give you a unique perspective that you want to share with the next generation of students by becoming a professor. Or something along those lines.

thank you. I haven't seen that much red since my high-school :)
I think, I use Mary's idea to create transiction paragraph.