A second chance; Scholarship Appeal/ Oakwood University

I really need some help writing an essay for a scholarship appeal. I've been reading essay's online on this subject and writing. Here's what I have:

I am grateful for the opportunity appeal for my scholarship for the Fall of 2013 through Spring 2013. I take full responsibility for my cumulative grade point average being below the requirements needed to renew my scholarship; I hope that this letter will give me a second chance to redeem myself.

Over the course of my first two years, I've been studying Biology. I was taking Honors Biology with Dr. Paul and Honors Chemistry with Dr. Lai Hing. I found that studying both Biology and Chemistry together was a challenge and the coursework difficult too. My confidence in those classes began to drop during my freshman year and I began to believe that it would be impossible for me to even pass those courses.

For my sophomore year, based on my freshman year experience I decided that I could not handle the workload of a Biology course and Chemistry course together; so I decided to only take Organic Chemistry focusing on that class alone. However, I did not expect Physics to be much of a problem. I found that during my Spring semester at Oakwood University during my Sophomore year, was a repeat of my freshman year experience. As the course work became more demanding and my grades were, as I thought to be, at its worse my confidence to pass the class decreased and I doubted myself.

During my second year of college I went to tutors and familiarized myself with small study groups for classes such as Physics and Organic Chemistry. I had not done this during my freshman year at Oakwood; and I found that small study groups improved my confidence and attitude toward difficult courses. I began to realize that I was not the only one that found these courses to be difficult. The people in my study groups helped to encourage me that I could do well in these classes.

I now recognize that my mentality toward difficult challenges has affected how I work in each class. When I view a class as easy I excel with ease. I know now that if I am given the chance to change my mentality toward difficult classes there will be a significant change in my grades and for my cumulative grade point average. Having taken those difficult classes has given me the opportunity to understand myself as student and help me change my approach when taking difficult subjects and how to study for them.

If granted my scholarship again I will honor it and respect its requirements. Although my attitude toward work should not be an excuse to why I could not meet the renewal requirements for my scholarships, I do intend to prove that I can not only meet the requirements but succeed as continue to study Biology. I now understand the importance of this scholarship and have a new respect toward it. I hope that I have appealed to the committee enough to reconsider their decision by renewing my scholarship and allowing me to show myself approved.

I sincerely thank The Academic Scholarship Committee at Oakwood University for providing for me this opportunity to gain a second chance.
Sincerely,

I would like feedback and if it is a good essay or what I should talk about. Thanks in advance!

I really do not know how this particular type of essay should be written, though there is a very interesting and qualified collection of this type of essays (called - College Essays that made a difference); if u wud need them - email me at erxuperx@gmail.com

You've answered your own question in the thread title.

Tell them WHY you deserve a "second chance."

I added in:
If granted my scholarship again I will honor it and respect its requirements. Although at times I feel that being the top of the class is impossible, I would like to show this committee, that with a second chance, I can raise my grades. Because I have a great respect for Oakwood Biology program, I would like to graduate from Oakwood University with honors; and I'd like to further embark on that journey in the fall and spring semesters by proving I can successfully fulfill the requirements of this scholarship by improving my grade point average.

Is that a good enough reason for a "second chance"?

I am very grateful for giving me the opportunity to make an appeal for the scholarship, Fall of 2013 to Spring 2013.


.... you take responsibility for what? to improve the average? it's not very clear.


I found that studying both Biology and Chemistry together was extremely challenging with their fairly difficult course work.