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By seeking leadership experiences, I've been able to learn to communicate and empathize with people


brayan1996 17 / 35 5  
Jan 5, 2016   #1
Discuss a leadership experience you have had in any area of your life: school, work, athletics, family, church, community, etc. How and why did you become a leader in this area? How did this experience influence your goals?

By seeking leadership experiences, I have been able to learn to communicate and empathize with people. One of these leadership experiences was my involvement in The Love Kitchen after school program. With the central goal of helping students who have difficulties in academics, The Love Kitchen has been a place of growth development. My involvement in The Love Kitchen taught me the importance of helping those around me by guiding those who may feel lost.

My mother enrolled me in this program in middle school. She thought it could help my English improve. I spent three years attending The Love Kitchen and saw a tremendous improvement in my English. I also made friends who helped me break out of my comfort zone. They would constantly push me to participate in class and events that would purposefully expose me to large crowds. With the help of Mrs. Heights, the program coordinator, I expanded my leadership skills and my comfort with English improved. Her immediate response to my mother's call for help made me realize that there are good people in the world. Before migrating to this country, I thought that my family was not going to find a single person that would help us succeed and adapt to such a different world. Mrs. Heights showed me otherwise.

One year after I had been enrolled in The Love Kitchen, Mrs. Heights called me and asked me to volunteer in her program. She told me that it would be an amazing opportunity for me to reach out to students just like me who had emigrated from other countries. I decided to participate and spent three years tutoring these elementary and middle school students. From this experience, I gained responsibility and became less timid. I also gained confidence from helping young children who were being challenged with both academic and social problems. I remember one day when one of the students was talking to me about his troubles at home. He opened up to me and told me how his mother had separated from his father because he would spend his money on drugs and alcohol. I spoke to Mrs. Heights about the student's situation and talked her into arranging a fundraiser to help the student's mother pay her rent. Through this, I was able to realize the power each of us has to make a difference in the lives of others. We each have the responsibility of contributing to the world. I managed to discover these things at The Love Kitchen.

The skills I picked up in this program have given me the confidence to challenge myself and grow. My encounter with the student and my response to this situation have guided me to work hard and consider about out of the box solutions to problems. The leadership skills I gained in this program are ones I continue to employ in my future career. By having compassion and understanding people, I will be able to help others experiencing stressful situations.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 5, 2016   #2
Brayan, you spent the first half of this essay discussing your background regarding how you ended up working with The Love Kitchen. While that story is interesting, it does not offer an insight into the development of your leadership abilities. The later part of your essay suffers from the same thing as the focus of the last part was almost totally on the student that you were trying to help. Of the two events that you discussed only the one about helping the other person through a fundraiser actually falls within the prompt instructions that indicates: Discuss a leadership experience you have had in any area of your life. The first part should be removed because it doesn't really describe how you grew at a leader at The Love Kitchen.

Instead, the second part of the essay, should pick up from:

One year after I had been enrolled in The Love Kitchen, Mrs. Heights called me and asked me to volunteer in her program. She told me that it would be an amazing opportunity for me to reach out to students just like me who had emigrated from other countries.

Now, you will notice that most of your discussion in this part represents a general description of what you did and learned, with specific references being made to Mrs. Heights and how she assisted you in your desire to help the student. You need to be more specific than that. Discuss the first ever leadership role that you tackled at the place. Explain how your leadership skills, which were first brought to light by that activity managed to grow from there until it eventually influenced your goals in life. Maybe you can talk about how you mounted the fundraiser along with Mrs. Heights. Yes, I think that would show the development of your leadership experience along with the influence of your mentor that surely helped you learn what your true calling in life is.
OP brayan1996 17 / 35 5  
Jan 5, 2016   #3
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Hi Vangiespen,

I appreciate this a lot.

I wanted to say that my intention with the second paragraph was to show how I was part of The Love Kitchen, as a student, and later became a volunteer. Because I had emigrated from another country, my English was not as good as I had wanted it to be. For this reason, I joined The Love Kitchen. However, after one year of being a student in the program I decided to become a volunteer by helping students that were having problem with reading and writing. I assisted them in reading and writing and the situation I had encountered with the student only occurred one day.

I thought that by introducing the part of me being a student and having the same problems that the students I was helping had, I was going to be able to show some growth.

I don't know if this corrects your feed back?

Because of this, I don't know exactly If I should just delete the second paragraph or replace it with the third. But I understand what you are saying.

Thanks,
Brayan F.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 5, 2016   #4
Brayan, since the essay asks you to deliver an explanation of how your leadership skills developed, then you can refocus the topic of the essay to make it work better. Focus on how Mrs. Heights encouraged you to develop your leadership abilities, first as a tutor to the students and then , by supporting your desire to help the student through the fund raiser.

In order to become a leader, you need to have a mentor / role model who can guide you towards that path. I believe that your relationship with Mrs. Heights will showcase that relationship. By discussing her role in helping you develop your leadership skills, specifically during the fund raising, which was your brain child, then you will be able to properly explain how and why you became a leader at The Love Kitchen.

Sometimes, the idea behind leadership and its development isn't automatically seen through your actions. Leaders take inspiration from others because of their desire to help those in difficult circumstances. Your desire to help the student and the way that Mrs. Heights supported your desire to do something good all add up to a solid foundation for your leadership abilities. You just need to combine the factors from the people and situation that you found yourself in so that your leadership abilities can be properly recognized by others :-)
OP brayan1996 17 / 35 5  
Jan 5, 2016   #5
Hi Vangiespen,

I have restructured my response and hopefully you can read it over one more time to see if I have missing parts of the prompt. This would be of great help and I would highly appreciate.

Thanks,
Brayan F.

By seeking leadership experiences, I have been able to learn to communicate and empathize with people. One of these leadership experiences was my involvement in The Love Kitchen after school program. With the central goal of helping students who have difficulties in academics, The Love Kitchen has been a place of growth and development. My involvement in The Love Kitchen taught me the importance of helping those around me by guiding those who may feel lost.

One year after I had been enrolled in The Love Kitchen, Mrs. Heights called me and asked me to volunteer in her program. She told me that it would be an amazing opportunity for me to reach out to students just like me who had emigrated from other countries. I decided to participate and spent three years tutoring elementary and middle school students. Within these three years, Mrs.Heights made it her duty to teach me the skills needed to empower student's creativity and mental growth. Twice a week I was required to meet with her in order to plan out how I should be teaching students who were having problem comprehending what they would read. These meetings served as a guide for me. The technical skills that Mrs.Heights was passing on to me, were allowing me to become a true leader by approaching students in a unique way. For example, every time I used to tutor students from first grade I had to learn to be more understanding of them than those from higher grades. Through such eyes, I was able to see how inspiring Mrs.Heights was. I saw how she would do the same thing because she knew that no two individuals have the same learning ability. From this experience, I gained responsibility and became less timid. I also gained confidence from helping young children who were being challenged with both academic and social problems.

I remember one specific event I had encountered with a student. The student began talking to me about his troubles at home. He opened up to me and told me how his mother had separated from his father because he would spend his money on drugs and alcohol. Seeing the student's situation compelled me to arrange a fundraising event to help the student's mother pay her rent. By supporting me in carrying out this event, Mrs.Heights sought to make a stronger leader from me. She immediately accepted my idea and the following day sat down with me to help create a plan. Two days later, me and other students were standing in front of the building selling homemade cookies and other treats. Through this, I was able to realize the power each of us has to make a difference in the lives of others. I was able to transmit such power to the students at The Love Kitchen. I was also able to show them how each of us is equally responsible in contributing to the world.

The skills I picked up in this program have given me the confidence to challenge myself and grow. My encounter with the student and my involvement in the fundraising guided me to encourage team activity and personally consider out of the box solutions to future problems. Having come from another country, I saw the need that students at The Love Kitchen had for someone who had experienced the same thing as them. They needed to feel like they belonged at The Love Kitchen. This was why I had become a leader through volunteering. Ultimately, the leadership skills I gained in this program included standing up for what's right, and valuing creativity. By having compassion and understanding people, I will be able to help others experiencing stressful situations. This ability, will allow me to reach my true calling in life; assisting those who struggle.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 6, 2016   #6
Brayan, the first half of the essay needed some strengthening so I revised that whole portion for you. I suggest you use this version along with the last half of your paper instead.

As an immigrant child in the United States, I never thought that I would be given a chance to learn about leadership, must less develop my leadership skills. After all, I am a stranger in the land of promise. So I did not really seek out leadership roles. It was only by chance that I came across The Love Kitchen after school program and along with that discovery, came my chance to develop myself into a future leader. With the central goal of helping students who have difficulties in academics, The Love Kitchen has been my place of growth and development.

The person who changed my life at The Love Kitchen was a woman named Mrs. Heights. She first guided me as a participant in the program and then, after some time, she encouraged me to become a volunteer for the program. I volunteered for 3 years as a tutor for elementary and middle school students, all the time guided and advised by Mrs. Heights. She empowered my creativity and mental growth.


I think the combination of my first 2 paragraphs and your last 2 will result in the strongest possible essay for you :-)
OP brayan1996 17 / 35 5  
Jan 6, 2016   #7
You are truly amazing. Thank you soOooooooooo much.


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