I want to apply for Korean Scholarship. The program asks me to write a letter of self-introduction. It has to be included :
o Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc
o Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the KGSP program
o Your motivations for applying for this program
o Reason for study in Korea
I really hope that you can give me feedback, corrections, comment on it. Thank you so much. :)
Dear Korean Government Scholarship Program Admissions,
In this letter, I want to introduce myself as a candidate of Korean Government Scholarship Program 2016. My name is Ani Novia from Indonesia, and I was born on 00th November 1900. In 2011, I started to study Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering at University of Indonesia. During my study, I did not only tend to study and try to get high score in my subjects, but I also joined several organizations in order to learn how to tackle some problems and improve my soft-skill. Moreover, when I was in organizations, I can get a lot of friends and colleagues from other regions, and countries. Then, I made in touch with many people who can encourage the others which are very optimist to make Indonesia more prestige in this world. I have an ambition in the future that I want to be Indonesian citizen who have higher education and apply it to make Indonesia more popular and can exploit its opportunity as a maritime country in a better way.
The purpose of this letter is to inform you that I really want to apply for this scholarship. I am more likely to study in Korea in order to get more precious and sophisticated education. I am keen on study Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering to develop and expand Indonesian archipelago. Following this, if I earn my master degree in Korea, it will be cooperation between Indonesia and Korea in the field of maritime. For example, as Korea is an expert builder of submarine, so it is one of the great opportunities among 2 countries to increase cooperation in National defense. Subsequently, Indonesia has a shipping register namely PT Biro Klasifikasi Indonesia, and Korea also has Korean Register (KR) as a non-profit ship classification. It is also good news for Indonesia and Korea to have more advantages in research and development in the field of ship classification.
In the my sixth semester of my study, my lecturers encouraged me to do an internship in a company of ship classification in Indonesia, PT Biro Klasifikasi Indonesia (Persero). I did my internship in several divisions in that company, such as Machinery and Electrical Division, Hull (Construction) Division, Load Line and Stability Division, and Statutory Division. According to this, I have known and understood Indonesian classification and regulation to be compared to Korean classification. Eventually, it will strengthen cooperation between Indonesia and Korea. I strongly believe that Indonesia can learn more about shipping industry from Korea.
I have decided to study abroad, especially in Korea, in order to broaden my international outlook while simultaneously strengthening my professional abilities. I am most especially eager to become acquainted and learn more deeply about ship construction and stability, hydrodynamics, fluid-mechanics, thermodynamics and marine transportation; from their general appearance to the smallest detail. I will collaborate with students and instructors, and professors from different backgrounds and international societies, to exemplify, in Korean University is ideal for gaining inspiration and acquiring sound training from international paradigm.
Korean Government Scholarship Program 2016 has motivated me to continue my Master Degree at World Class University in Korea. I am encouraged to gain more experiences with international students and atmosphere. I apply for this program in order to support my study. Afterwards, one of my purposes is same as The Program's objective that is promoting international exchange in education, such as mutual friendship among the participating countries of this program. As I have mentioned before, I totally assure that I can obtain a great deal of experience and expertise from international points of view. Lastly, I can establish cooperation with other participating countries in the field of engineering, defense, economy, and country development.
In conclusion, I am really excited to earn my Master Degree in Korea due to international experience and more precious opportunity. Thank you in advance for taking my application into account.
I would like to say that it would be more powerful to show them your credentials instead of providing general information.
...but I also joined several organizations in order to learn how to tackle some problems and improve my soft-skill. |Tell the organizations specifically, the name, the role you was taking part and what valuable skill you got which will support your intended study
Then, I kept in touch with a wide range of people who can encourage the others which are fairly optimist to make Indonesia more prestige in this world.| Who are they?
In my future, I see myself working as a professional person to develop my country. | What kind professional? Lecture, governor or researcher. Where you intend to contribute? University X, Company X or others?
...make Indonesia more popular and can exploit its opportunity as a maritime country in a better way. | Be more operational, what do you mean by popular and better country in maritime aspect? is it about 10000 likes in social media or the increasing of GDP due to maritime defence power or others?
I tend to study in Korea in order to gain more precious and well-rounded education | How can you say Korea has sophisticated education system, give objectives, the fact or statistical data?
it will evolve relationship between Indonesia and Korea in the field of maritime.| Make sure your (intended) role due to this claim
in order to broaden my international outlook while simultaneously strengthening my professional abilities.| What kind of professional abilities you envision by studying in Korea? Analytical and critical thinking? Its pragmatics? Find Korean's strength in your domain which is not provided in Indonesia.
Wish you success then :)