Dear all, I have written my self-introduction essay for KGSP scholarship 2017. To be honest, there is to much that I wanted to write but the essay should remain within the length of one page, and I am still not able to condense it. Since all that I have written are important experiences of my life, its hard for me to chose what should I keep and what should I remove or summarize. Please help me make my essay concrete and concise. I would be highly thankful.
my life has taught me many lessons
Born in a middle class family of five, that has always prioritized education over everything else, my life has taught me many lessons. My father is a salaryman in a private firm and the sole supporter of my family while mother is a housewife. Life was not always a bed of roses, but we're taught to remain positive through the ebbs and flows of life and take them as learning experiences. I went to a private school for my early education till tenth grade. As a child, I have noticed how my parents sacrificed their needs in order to pay for my tuition expenses on time. Although I was young, it developed a sense of responsibility in me that I should repay them by making the most of my studies, so I never gave anything less than my best. As a result, my academic achievements throughout my school life was of top grade. While my keen interest in academics is instilled in me by my mother, who had always taught me that its education that makes the difference, I have inherited my strong leadership qualities and upright character from my father. My father has always been my role model. He has always advised me to keep on working hard to fulfill my dreams, and that failure is not something to be afraid of but a lesson to learn from. His words had helped in coping up against all the hardships I have suffered and will surely be there to help me in difficult times in future.
As I grew up, I realized my keen interest in chemistry. The decomposition and recreation of matter as a kid seemed wonders to me. My fascination compelled me to delve more and more into it and by the time I gained my admission in NED University of Engineering and Technology, one of the prestigious engineering institutes of Pakistan, it become bases for me in selecting the multidisciplinary field of Polymer and Petrochemical Engineering as my Major. I have always enjoyed my field, especially because it revolves not only around the chemical industry but also deals with the environment safety and with polymeric material synthesis and processing which are indeed revolutionary in the material world.
My life at NED University was filled with many swirls and twirls but overall it was a fulfilling journey. I was an active member of my university's Society of Polymer and Petrochemical Engineers, a departmental society dedicated to maintain university-industry relationship. I was also a part of the NED Green Society. The campaigns and activities I experienced there made me realize my responsibilities as an engineer in creating a sustainable and healthy environment. At first, balancing my studies, social life and extracurricular activities became a tough challenge for me. It also affected my grades. Yet with hard work and determination, I learnt to manage not only my studies and activities, but also achieved 1st position in my batch in my fifth and seventh semester. After years of dedication and hard work, I graduated from my university standing at rank 6th in a batch of 54 students. Currently I am expecting my degree in B.E. Polymer and Petrochemical Engineering.
I have always been eager to make the most of my abilities, but due to the scarcity of funds and limited technology in Pakistan, I get forced to keep my ideas limited time and again. For my undergraduate final year project, I, along with my group members, initially wanted to work on optimizing the Reverse Water-Gas Shift Reaction to produce hydrocarbon fuel in order to find a way to make the process industrially feasible. But due to the unavailability of the required technology and with no one to sponsor the project, we had to switch to a more economical one which was developing a Durable and Eco Friendly Oil Resistive Sealant for Asphalt Pavements by Replacing Coal tar with Polymer as Additive. The idea sparked in my mind after reading an article regarding harmful effects to life and environment by PAHs released by Coal tar pavement sealants. However, this time, the availability of materials was a big issue, since our resources and time were limited. In the end, we opted to perform quantitative analysis on the effects of recycled tire rubber waste on asphalt pavement to increase its stability and water resistance - a project never before conducted domestically, keeping in mind the economic state of Pakistan and the poor condition of its road network. The project ended up as big success and is now being considered by National Highway Authority, Pakistan, for its implementation on the upcoming M9 Motorway project.
As a person, I am quite inquisitive. I have always found myself eager to learn and try everything that I found interesting, no matter how difficult or different it is. Since childhood it has been my motto that, "If somebody else can do it then why can't I?" This belief had supported me to cherish so many different hobbies that have made me now a multi-talented person. At the age of twelve, I started Making movies on fiction scripts. It began as a hobby and resulted in fostering my leadership skills, teamwork, dedication and hard work. It also honed my skills on various editing software programs including adobe after effects, premier pro and Photoshop. I have also enjoyed writing novels in English as a freelance author. This hobby of mine began as a self-challenge to my abilities, but resulted in improving not only my writing skills and English language ability drastically but also heightened my insight, and fostered philosophic thinking. Meeting the deadlines also helped me with more punctual and dedicated to work.
I had done internships in General Tyres Pakistan, the leading tire manufacturers in Pakistan, and in Tripack Films Limited, a joint venture between Mitsubishi Corporation of Japan and Packages Limited of Pakistan. While my internship at General Tyres provided me with real-time experience of working in an industry, my experience at Tripack Films taught me what as an engineer I have to offer to an industry and how greatly I can take part in solving the issues faced during production and in making the processing safer for the workers and staff. For the internship period at Tripack, I was assigned with three projects associated with the problems they were facing at BOPP film line namely Fish eye problem, MD corrugation issue, and Cooling system improvement at Winder zone. With hard work and determination, and with the help of the co-workers and staff, I managed to not only provide solutions for the assigned projects successfully, but also managed to engage and complete two more projects within the designated tenure, which includes prolongation of corona treatment's effect for film printing and proposition of values of associated parameters for increasing the production speed of shrink films from 250m/min to the maximum 300m/min. Recently, I have also experienced an industrial visit at Lotte Petrochemicals Pakistan. The environment and the state of the art technologies I witnessed there, intrigued my interest whether it was due to the influence of South Korea's robust industrial status. This made me realize how essential it is for me as an engineer to keep on learning and remaining up to date with the recent researches and technologies. It also ignited a desire in me to learn and understand more about how chemical industries in Korea do their operations and the reason as to why they do it on a certain way.
I have always taken pride in learning new languages. When I was in eighth grade, I started learning German with no resources or teacher but with a book I found in my uncle's collection. Although I could only learn bits at that time, I now am fluent in English, and can also speak and understand much of Japanese. I have also been learning Korean for some time and can now understand basic sentences and structures
East Asian cultures have never failed to amaze me. It fascinates me how Korea, being such a highly developed country, has its rich culture still vibrant throughout the state. Korean language, its festivals such as "Seollal" and "Chuseok" make me love Korean culture more and more. I believe there is too much for me to learn from it that can help to make me a better person. Furthermore, I have proved myself time after time as a good leader domestically. Emerging as a global leader in a multicultural and competitive environment as South Korea is a challenge I am really looking forward to.
South Korea has been a pioneer in research and development sector with researches spreading far and wide in every field of study. The notable researches such as the AmVeh car that fuels on ammonia, the continuous researches for capturing CO2 and converting it into fuel since early 2000 and many other prominent contributions in the field of clean energy and chemical engineering that I have come across have made me realize that more than a dream, it's my necessity to continue my studies in Korea in order to achieve what I really want to do and contribute my share to make the society a better and cleaner place to live.
If given the chance to be accepted in the program, it would not only open limitless opportunities for me to grow and continue my studies and research for developing a sustainable environment in the most efficient manner but would also help me in creating a better future for my family and for both countries.
P.S. I am applying through the university track. Do I have to include things about the university I am applying to? What should I include in it about the university to make my essay compelling?Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Asshar, let's deal with this essay step by step. For starters, your discussion about your educational background tends to include irrelevant information. While the essay prompt does say "educational background", that does not mean that you are required to go all the way back to grade school. You are to only discuss your most recent educational attainment. That means discussing your college experience. So, when you discuss your family background, ambition, dreams, wishes, point of view about life, and other character developing information, these all have to lead to the development of your interest in the field of study you took in college.
Once you begin to discuss your college years, discuss the highest grades that you got and the achievements that you were recognized for. You should only discuss your thesis project if it relates to your masters degree interests. If it does not, then there is no need to include such an intricate discussion in your essay. Instead, focus majority of the essay on your professional experience.
With regards to your professional experience, why are you only discussing internships at different companies? How long has it been since you graduated? Did you not work in the field that you studied in college for? It sounds to me like your internships were an excellent training ground. However, it seems that you were not able to practice the craft you studied as a professional? You will need to explain that to the reviewer. As a masters degree student, you are required to have at least 2 years work experience prior to applying for masters school because your motivation for applying must be profession related. I don't really get a clear idea of what has motivated you to apply for this masters degree in Korea. Maybe it is too vague in the essay?
Since you are applying to the scholarship via university track, you need to do research about your masters degree course in relation to the university. Discuss the reasons why you chose this university as the basis of the reasons why you want to study in Korea. That will be more impressive than the discussion of the social culture of Korea, which is the usual reason provided by most students writing this letter. The university based response will be more unique in this case.
If you write the essay based upon my recommendations, the length should adjust to become shorter and also, allow for a more focused discussion of the prompt requirements. That is a necessity when writing this kind of essay because, as you said, it tends to run long and lose focus. Hopefully my advice will be able to guide you back to the critical points for discussion in the essay.
