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Self introduction for Pusan National University Scholarship as a transfer


seraxsh 1 / 1  
Apr 26, 2022   #1

essay of self presentation



Glad to introduce myself as Shun Lae Linn, 21 -year-old girl from Yangon, Myanmar. I was awarded a scholarship to study for the matriculation exam at EC Private High School and I completed my matriculation examination successfully in 2017. And then I entered University of Technology (Yatanarpon Cyber City) majored in Electronic Engineering. Currently I'm in the third year of my studies and my university had to postpone all the scheduled exams due to COVID pandemic and political crisis. My family encompasses 4 members - My father, mother, younger brother and me. I belong to a normal class family where my parents do their own businesses and fulfill our basic needs. They always work hard for us and taught us to be brave and powerful in every situation in life. Because of them I became very strong, dedicated and adaptive person. I've always been appreciative that growing up, my parents don't put me any pressure when it comes to studying. They are vital an element of my life and they always encourage me much to fulfill all my dreams. My career goal is to become a professional sound/audio engineer. I discovered my interest in audio engineering when I was in my freshman year of university after I learned about audio signals and sound waves. I always wanted to explore how the Korean singers' microphones are used to route to a live mixing system to keep their voices more stable and clear during concerts and others music related shows. During the pandemic, I've been studying the music theory and vocal knowledge which gives me a chance to explore within the realms of music, which plays such an important role in audio engineering.

I have a strong attitude in learning Korean language. I started study Korean all by myself since Grade-9. It was easy for me to learn Korean since I have a great amount of interest in it. Now I can speak read and write in Korean fluently. I was an active somehow indulgent student among others during my studies, very often I involved in many curricular and co-curricular activities. I have been a class president for 3 years straight. I am also former leader of University Cheerleading Team and one of the admins of Dance Club. I was a member of Education and Technology committee of UTYCC Student Union. I take part in loads of volunteering and charity activities - a former volunteer at Hope Charity and Future Light Charity and Volunteer Group. I have certificates in "Applied Electronics" awarded by Future Engineer Generation Training School, "Foundation Leadership & Capacity Development" by Taxila Institute of Youth Leadership and Development. I have participated enthusiastically in Yangon University Motivators English Club Debate Tournament 2018 and UTYCC Debate Training and Competition 2019. I believe that the sound knowledge, electronic theories and practical activities that will be gained from this study can help me in my work, by ensuring adequate capacity to implement the national entertainment sector plan that is directly linked with the national media and entertainment reform. As my country has been carrying out the reforms including media and entertainment industry, a lot of sound or audio experts are in need in my country. I hope I can support the human resource requirement in my country in various ways by studying this course. Armed with these goals and dreams, I have decided to apply for this scholarship provided by Gyeongnam Foreign Residents Support Center to acquire an in-depth knowledge. I truly believe that by getting this scholarship, I will get an invaluable experience which will help me to attain my goals and to expand my potential in the future of my country as well as Korea.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,686 4117  
Apr 26, 2022   #2
There is no need to indicate Covid and the war in your country as a reason for delayed education. These are commonly known reasons for Burmese students. All of you are mentioning it in these self introduction essays as if these will make a difference in the consideration. These will not as these are commonly known information that does not have any bearing on the reviewer's opinion. You all suffered the same consequences of the same situations. Mention something different or do not mention these at all. These will not help the essay moving forward anyway.

The essay is not well developed as the writer is compressing information into each paragraph. Take the time to edit the work. Properly outline your discussion topics and pick the top 3 things about you that you want the reviewer to know about, based upon its importance to you and its impact on your ability to give back to your country upon your return. Make sure that you expand on these ideas properly, without over informing and little explaining to the reviewer. That is where the problem of this current presentation lies. You may use up to 5 paragraphs for this essay. That way you can really figure out what you want to say about who you are and why you deserve the scholarship.
OP seraxsh 1 / 1  
Apr 26, 2022   #3
@Holt
Thank u for your feedback. This is my very first time writing a scholar essay so I don't know what to write anymore.I'll try my best to fix it


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