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Self-Introduction "being a teacher is my dream"


momonisme 2 / 2 2  
Feb 8, 2017   #1
I will be applying for KGSP-G this year. I need your help to review my self-introduction.
I have trouble finding the right words to end my essay.
English is not my mother language. If there are many grammar mistakes in my essay, please correct it.
Thank you in advance.

Most of my family members are educators. Growing up in that kind of family makes me realize the importance of education in life. They always tell me that making mistakes is a part of learning. They also encourage me not to afraid to learn and experience many things. When I was a kid, my father bought me a computer. Back then, I often used the computer with full of curiosity. I tried to disassemble it and sometimes broke it. My parents did not scold me but they found me someone who can teach me about computer. I was very grateful for my parents not being overprotective. They inspired me to become someone who can encourage people to learn.

With that dream on my mind, I decided to become a teacher so I can encourage my students and teach them to love learning without afraid to make mistakes. After graduating from high school, I decided to get my bachelor's degree in Computer Science Education at Indonesia University of Education so I can become a computer teacher after graduating. During my college years, I studied hard about pedagogy and computer science. For my first 2 years in college, I was active as teaching and laboratory assistant in Database Laboratory. I was also active in non-academic activities. I joined student organization and Informatics Students Association of Bandung. These experiences are very useful to improve my organizational skills, interpersonal skills and soft skills. In my last year of college, I taught Digital Simulation at a vocational school for 4 months. I learned how to be a teacher during that period.

After graduating from college, I got a job at UPT E-Learning Bandung Institute of Technology. I am working as help desk and junior programmer. I am responsible for developing and maintaining e-learning used at Bandung Institute of Technology. I am also responsible for providing technical assistance for questions and problems from e-learning users. After working for a while, I came to realize that the knowledge and skills I had acquired from college were lacking to support my work. To become a computer teacher, I still have much to learn both about pedagogy and computer science. So I decided to continue my education with a higher degree in computer education major.

Because there is no master's degree for computer education major in Indonesia, I decided to study abroad to pursue my master's degree. Last year, I found out about KGSP when I was looking for information about scholarship to study abroad. Fortunately, there are some universities that provide master's degree in computer education. Moreover, I am interested in learning a foreign language beside English. I have been learning Korean language for two years. The one year language program provided by KGSP increase my motivation to apply the scholarship. My basic knowledge in Korean language will help me settle in Korea during my first year in language program.

I have been working at UPT E-Learning Bandung Institute of Technology for six months. Being involved in the development of e-learning makes me wonder how the use of technology in education can make learning easier and more enjoyable. Most of students at Bandung Institute of Technology using smartphones to access e-learning. So we have to start thinking about more efficient and more creative education through the use of technology. Then I found a paper about the implemented of "SMART Education" in South Korea. The main goal of this program was to digitalize the entire school curriculum and reflect modern changes of the 21st century. I would like to learn about the implementation of "SMART Education" in South Korea.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Feb 8, 2017   #2
Monita, your essay focuses solely on your academic experience and work related experience. You did not manage to respond to the parts of the essay that require you to explain your motivation for applying to this program and the reason why you wish to study in Korea. In addition to that, you also do not discuss your point of view about life, along with your hopes and dreams for your future as a professional. So this is a very incomplete essay that needs to be totally revised to represent the missing elements.

By the way, unless the grammar problems affect the clarity of your sentence or paragraph, it is best not to change the way you present it by having us correct it. This is a preliminary interview so if you get past the first round of considerations, you will be asked to eventually attend a face to face interview. If you cannot express yourself properly in the actual interview but have perfect grammar on paper, your application will be affected. Leave your voice, your manner of speaking intact. We will let you know if you need to revise any part of the essay for clarity sake.

Make sure that you explain why you have chosen to attend a particular university in Korea. It is best if you have a specific university in mind to attend because your reason for studying in Korea can be academic based rather than the more common social based reasons. The social based reasons are not as compelling and do not really indicate a desire to spend academic time in Korea.

The motivation you have for applying to this program should be more than just about your country not offering this academic program. You could apply to any other country in that case. So why did you decide upon Korea in particular? Why the KGSP program? What sets the program and the country apart from the other options for study available to you? You can consider the response to these questions in terms of your hopes and wishes, your plans for your future, and other similar themes if you wish. Sometimes you can combine the questions into one paragraph if your response to those questions are inter-related.


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