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Set out skills and attributes you possess- Endeavour essay

adhananj 3 / 6 1  
Nov 5, 2018   #1
·Set out the skills and attributes you possess that will enable you to use this opportunity to develop as a leader in your field.
·Explain how the proposed activity will develop your leadership skills and build on your ability to contribute to your study, training, research or professional field on your return to your home country

my artistic inclinations

I have always been a student with artistic inclination. My formal training in Indian classical music and dance has developed in me qualities such as self-discipline, concentration, patience and creativeness. It taught me the importance of hard work and dedication at every stage in life. This helped me to perform well academically and professionally. I have a good clarity of thoughts therefore I am able to convey my ideas clearly and explain technical terms in such a way that even a layman can understand.

During my final year team project, I took charge and led the team right from planning phase where I explained what I had in mind and listened to the ideas of my team. The combined ideas were formulated and executed in a systematic manner where each team member had a role to play. I made sure that each member knew what the other one was doing as I made them explain what they had been working on to each other. Some of the team members were nervous about having to present the project on stage and preferred not to be on stage. I wanted to get rid of their nervousness so I conducted mock sessions and eventually they had the confidence to come up and speak.

My proposed activity will help me develop my theoretical and practical knowledge and provide me opportunity to work with leading researchers in my field of study. It will help me to closely observe their style of work, their decision making skills, their ideas and adapt it into myself. This will mold me as a better leader capable to lead projects in ISRO on my return to home country. I hope to be a strong motivating leader to my team and contribute significantly in space technology.

I would highly appreciate your inputs for my essay. Thanks in advance.
dynastylee0929 3 / 4  
Nov 6, 2018   #2
The vocabulary you have used may be slightly too simple for academic writing.

Try replacing some 'be' and 'have' verbs with other verbs to express your ideas more precisely.

Try expressing your ideas in fewer words by using more complex vocabulary.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,660 1998  
Nov 7, 2018   #3
Aathira, I believe that you should depict the experience first, then the lessons learned from the activity second. That way you will call attention to "leadership in action" as it responds to the "kills and attributes you possess" within the prompt requirement. You can refer to this experience as the major reason that you began to develop as a leader, with an addendum that you have led other artistic projects with more complicated leadership requirements. This would show a continuing leadership development on your part which may impress the reviewer.

I am not sure what your purpose for study is but I can say that the second paragraph in relation to the contributions prompt is too vague. It does not feel well thought out nor considered in terms of content and relevance to the prompt. Try to clarify that presentation. Maybe you can revise it to create a better picture of how you will apply the new skills in your field. Explaining via examples always works best to clarify your meaning.

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