Hi All, below is my essay for the leadership question in Chevening, I would be grateful if you would read it and provide me with a thorough feedback on how to improve it
my leadership journey
Throughout human civilisation, leadership has shaped our world; progressive leaders have researched and planned to use the resources at their disposal to generate optimal synergistic results that influences and benefits society at both a micro and a macro level.
My leadership abilities were refined and on display by the managerial position I hold in a startup company called Sahab Technology specialised in Marketing and developing emerging businesses. Where I am responsible for managing the success of our projects, employees, and the organization as a whole.
One of the biggest challenges I faced in this role was the need to accelerate the growth of the company because it was progressing slowly. I started addressing the matter by confronting our employees and encouraging them to share their suggestions. And questioning our business structure and leadership style and doing an extensive amount of research in both.
Starting to solve the problem from its roots was the next thing I did, so I restructured the entire model of the business and job descriptions, made strategic partnerships with other professionals in the business, repriced our services with a scientific approach, prospected and reached out to local businesses. Moreover, I paid more attention to managing the motivation of our employees as an integral part of my role because ultimately, my core mission as a manager and a leader is lifting others up to achieve their full potential.
The consequences of these actions were a positive effect on our employees and they felt their importance, a work environment dominated by dynamism and free of pressure, a tremendous increase in the economical situations of several starting businesses and a company that increased its total profits by 128%.
Furthermore , my leadership journey is not limited to that experience; earlier this year, I participated in an international event that brings together active and empowered entrepreneurs to share ideas, form teams, build products, and launch startups, called Startup weekend women. with a project called Sumer, an art platform that helps painters showcase their work and reach out to broader audiences. The vital role I played in the project was developing its marketing strategy, using my connections to contact and get the dean of Art college in Future University to exhibit his art works in our platform, overseeing the progress of every part of my team and also, presenting our project to the judges; that among them were the head of investment in ministry of finance and the deputy public affairs officer at the US embassy. Who spoke very highly of our project and granted it second place in the competition.
In conclusion, I am positive that using my passion, attention to building harmonised cooperative teams, along with my skills with technology to demonstrate leadership and bring positive change that benefited my organisation and the groups I worked with into becoming a more productive and sustainable team. And in the long term to develop processes that help new and existing businesses to take advantage of technology; to build and deliver greater value to their consumers and country. Have had a great effect on my ability to become a national leader and influencer in my profession.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 There is no consequence for your positive actions, only positive results. Look up the meaning of the word you chose to use and you will understand why you chose the wrong word to describe what you accomplished. You chose to use a negative word when you were describing a positive event. The essay is too simple. It glosses over the leadership skills development that the reviewer will be interested in reading about. Do not make it sound so easy. You need to highlight your problem solving skills, mentoring abilities, and alertness when it comes to responding to stressful situations.
The leadership essay requires you to show you leadership and influencing skills, not simply tell. You are telling the facts of the matter with regards to leadership, but you are not telling the reader anything about how you function as a mentor or influencer. You have to revise the presentation to focus on both aspects of the essay requirements.
Explain your skills through actual examples. Expand on the narrative, skip the telling part and focus on the showing part instead.
