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SMU Hunt Scholarship Essay-- How should I start????


ericao2010 12 / 32  
Jan 2, 2010   #1
PROMPT: "Based on your understanding of leadership, how would you use your leadership abilities as a member of a college community?" (MAX OF 2-3 PAGES)

How should I start out my essay? Should I begin my essay with my own definition of leadership or is that too trite?? Or should I state a little bit about my own experience as a leader?

Any ideas would be most appreciated!!!
basil - / 8  
Jan 2, 2010   #2
Too often I see people approach these leadership essays by listing a bunch of activities in which they were the leader. Leadership isn't about being the people in charge and telling people what to do but contributing to the whole group. I would start by discussing how your contributions have made you a leader.

While you work on that, I'd really appreciate it if you also took a look and commented on my essay
ericpark 2 / 9  
Jan 2, 2010   #4
I am not sure where SMU is but always good to be creative. I mean there are probably a thousand or so essays that are coming in.

Perhaps talking like your already there or I guess if you want to be a bit more bizarre would be talking about the college community like a family. Each college representing a younger brother or... etc.

If you have the time I would be eternally grateful if you can look over my essay:
OP ericao2010 12 / 32  
Jan 6, 2010   #5
SMU Hunt Leadership Essay-- NEED HELP!!!!

Is it a good start?? How should I continue? I am having trouble writing this essay and it would help a lot if I can get some more feedback. THANKS!!!

PROMPT: "Based on your understanding of leadership, how would you use your leadership abilities as a member of a college community?" (MAX OF 2-3 PAGES)

It never occurred to me for one second that I would ever become president of my senior graduation committee. I just never thought of myself as being a leader. I was always involved in school activities, helping out in any way that I could, but I did not see myself as the head of the group. However, I have come to realize that leadership is not all about being the boss. The essence of leadership is about contributing to the whole group, the willingness to serve others and most importantly, the drive to accept social responsibility.

I have learned that leadership is almost like being family. I play the role as an older sister and each group member is my younger sibling. Together, with cooperation we form one big family. Like a family, there are specific responsibilities and obligations that I have to meet as a leader. For one, I have to make sure that the welfare of my group comes first. Also, it is imperative that I include everyone in every activity. Coming into a college community, it will be no different.
ivyeyesediting - / 85  
Jan 6, 2010   #6
Hi Erica,

This is a good start, especially the following:

"However, I have come to realize that leadership is not all about being the boss. The essence of leadership is about contributing to the whole group, the willingness to serve others and most importantly, the drive to accept social responsibility."

I love your definition of leadership. Of course, to make it more powerful and give your essay a stronger sense of momentum, I might start with a story (e.g. senior graduation committee anecdote) that demonstrates how you came to learn this definition. This paragraph feels more like the kernel of a strong conclusion, when you reflect on what you have accomplished and learned as a young leader.

Is the limit for this essay truly 2-3 pages? That seems slightly long. Anyway, if you can confirm the length, and provide us with more content, we can help you to think about how (and how much) to expand on this topic, and potential frameworks.

Best of luck!!!!!

All best,
Janson
Ivy Eyes Editing
OP ericao2010 12 / 32  
Jan 7, 2010   #7
Thanks Janson I appreciate the feedback. So I should start my essay with an ancedote about my leadership abililtes and use what I had as an introduction as my conclusion? Should I delete my second paragraph? Also, I guess I would need to link my leadership experience with how I would use that in a college community right?


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