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To get something - it always takes effort, sacrifice, and faith in God


Aulisa 1 / -  
Jan 3, 2015   #1
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TELL ABOUT MY PERSONAL STATEMENT (ONLY 200-300 WORDS)

I grew from a family that gave priority to education, health and religious. since childhood I have been taught to get something always takes effort and sacrifice and always be thankful to god. This concept is embedded in me, so I grew to become more mature, responsible, sensitive and hard-working with a strong determination.This condition has made me believe that nothing will be an obstacle for my accomplishment.

In Senior High School, I become the student of the fifth best school in Indonesia with full scholarship; a provincial school with dormitory and semi-military system. My school only accepts student with great achievement and good character and taugh us how to be more independent, disciplined, and active.As an active student, I participate in both academic and non-academic activity. I also joined some club and organization,such as; the students organization as the secretary,english club, islamic organization, Japanese club, scientific paper team, flag hoisting troop, music ensemble, and dance and basketball team. All of this activity made me can manage my time efficiently and keep my school scores above the passing grade.

During school, I joined the Science Olympiade team in earth-science And Biology section. I actually got the difficulties because, earth-science is not the school subject ,but I could overcome them with some catching up outside the school hours and learn it myself from literature that I got from internet. I've 2nd winner of earth-science theory test in the provincial level. For biology section, I joined the training in my school, it taugh me that our body system is beyond measure, The more I know the better it'll be. Many precious experience I got both from training and the whole competition. It encourages me to achieve more and made me believe with persistence and dedication, I can reach the impossible.
Pranu 2 / 13  
Jan 3, 2015   #2
Hello Aulisa,

Your essay is good but I think the information is just scattered. I would just like to suggest that, you could actually highlight few activities that demonstrated your personality as a whole. Challenges in your life and how it influenced you.

Good Luck!
maximu5 4 / 11 2  
Jan 3, 2015   #3
I grew from a family that gave priority to education, health andreligion .

Since my (early) childhood I have been taught (that in order to get something done, it always took an effort and sacrifice /as well as always being thankful to god)/or as well as being thankfull to god.

... Maybe? Just a suggestion, expect the one in red :P
wai019 4 / 10 3  
Jan 3, 2015   #4
I grew from a family that gave priority to education, health and religion . since childhood I have been taught to get something always takes effort and sacrifice and always be thankful to god. This concept is embedded in me, so I grew to become more mature, responsible, sensitive and hard-working with a strong determination.This condition has made me believe that nothing will be an obstacle for my accomplishment.

In Senior High School, I become the student of the fifth best school in Indonesia with a full scholarship; a provincial school with dormitory and semi-military system. My school only accepts students with great achievement and good character and taught us how to be more independent, disciplined, and active as an A student, I participate in both academic and non-academic activities . I also joined some clubs and organizations , such as; the students organization as the secretary,english club, islamic organization, Japanese club, scientific paper team, flag hoisting troop, music ensemble, and dance and basketball team. All of these activities made me can manage my time efficiently and kept my school scores above the passing grade.

During school, I joined the Science Olympiade team in the Earth Science and Biology section . It was difficult for me because Earth Science is not a school subject ,but I could overcome them with some catching up outside the school hours and learn it myself from literature that I got from internet. I've 2nd winner of earth-science theory test in the provincial level. For the Biology section, I joined the training in my school, it taught me that our body system is beyond measure.The more I know the better it'll be. I had many precious experiences that I got both from training and the whole competition. It encourages me to achieve more and made me believe that with persistence and dedication, I can reach the impossible.

I might have missed some but the corrections are in red


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