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South Korea - the only country I could fit - Personal Statement for KGSP

rashad07 1 / 1  
Feb 17, 2018   #1

Personal Statement for KGSP

Guys please can you advise me if it is a good or bad essay for the personal statement?

When I realized that I could not really study my speciality deeply in my country, I began to think about education abroad and saw that South Korea was the only country I could fit. Because there is a program called KGSP, which only teaches the Korean language in the first year of this country, which I consider myself obliged to study this language if I would live in Korea with their people. Another reason that inspires me is that of Korea, which is non-negotiable education and their enthusiastic people to study. South Korea, with schools and education systems that are among the world's universities in the field of science and technology and a small geography, offers me a window to the world. Especially in the field of information, automobile, information technology, applied sciences, biology and chemistry sub-science branches, medicine and pharmaceuticals are also in a good position. In addition, when I used to do a sport like judo in my childhood, our trainer who was trained in taekwondo course which is known as originated from Korea, has shared his experience with us and if I have such an opportunity, I really would like to watch this sport in its motherland.

My willingness to the sport and army forced me to study in Military Lyceum which is called Nakhchivanski when I was 14. Before the undergraduate degree, I have studied for 2 years there. There had strict rules such as obeying the rules of the dormitory, school building, high management and most challenging one is enduring all these kinds of stuff without family assistance.

For the first time at the university in 2014, I and some close friends among nearly 100 students had felt alone. It was because they were reluctant to their profession. Fortunately, chance has appeared for us to feel more relaxed by entering to the newly created "SABAH" groups as an integrated education on the Ministry of Education. As a responsible man, I knew that environment provided by "SABAH" is enough to do best and if I'm not mistaken, this fulfilled. Initial motivation came from my lovely teacher who is also studying in Korea, at the 2nd course. Azerbaijan Technical University is working under the KOICA system which is developed by Korea Government and because some of my teachers have worked there I also had a chance to meet with this amazing technology and I admired it.After the lessons finished it was time to prove initial knowledge on database. Exam topics were fundamentals of DB (MTA) but this certificate given by Microsoft helped to grow the idea "I can do more". Next semester, with the advent of a new teacher who is very talented sql developer, we have become able to improve coding skills. And he was the person who prepared us to think more about Oracle certification path. After the routine lessons, we used to come additional training instructed by him for preparing the exam called OCE (Oracle Certified Expert). During that spring semester, I have been involved by local network company called "Enginet" for about one-month intensive course. Although practices which I gained from there are not so related to the big data analysis, I just left that notion out and continued to learn more. And essentials of IT and some networking skills assisted me in many cases so far.

Mediatorship of my groupmate helped me to get the job opportunity for next semester at "Knexel" Technologies under the İONLİNE company. There I have achieved certain knowledge related to database, back-end development and the "as a service" technologies. Although that period of time was the time that I was so overloaded with the work, the certificate, English course, university lessons and personal life, I have successfully overcome them. Preparing for the master degree in Korea have become the cause of left the paid job in this company. Recently, Data Structures and Algorithm classes we have worked on have led me to have a strong opinion on studying the master degree of this specialization in Korea.

At the ACM Chapter Big Data weekend in Azerbaijan in 2017, I noticed that we are out of this area while attending the presentation of Prof. Jennifer Widom from Stanford University. So, as the KGSP supports the future global leaders and promotes the international cooperation in education, I decided to learn this area and bring it to our country.

I can be definitely adapt the State of Korea in terms of culture firstly because of their hospitable folk as our nation. As a Korean proverb says "서당개 삼 년에 풍월 읊는다 " meaning "after three years at a village schoolhouse, even a dog can recite a poem", I strongly believe in the idea that if anyone would stay a long time somewhere he can adapt there. Since I have stayed away from my family for 2 years and this didn't make any difficulties for me.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,139 3272  
Feb 18, 2018   #2
Rashad, this personal statement thoroughly confuses the reader. There does not seem to be a point to your essay. Is this supposed to be a letter of self introduction for a masters degree scholarship application? If it is then I have to tell you that your motivation for studying in Korea doesn't make sense. The motivation has to relate to your college major and professional requirements. It does not have anything to do with the year long Hangul lessons and everything to do with the reasons why you felt that you had no other option but to study in Korea. In fact, you need to clarify what it is that you will be studying and the reasons behind your desire to study there. What is your motivation? What has your motivation got to do with your reasons to study in Korea? How does this motivation justify your desire to study in Korea? What makes Korea special? No, don't inform the reader about Taekwondo. That is irrelevant to your chosen course and current occupation? This essay clearly lacks focus, an understanding of the prompt requirements, and a solid foundation with regards to strongly presenting your evidence regarding your ability to complete a masters degree course.
OP rashad07 1 / 1  
Feb 20, 2018   #3
Firstly thank you for your feedback.I really appreciate it. I have never written an essay like this.
I will try to correct it. Thanks again!

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