Hello everyone, I going to apply for KGSP-G 2021 and below are the prompts requirements and my personal statement.
I need a help to review my essay and give feedback and suggestions. Thank you.
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Family and Education background
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or
events that have had a significant influence on you
- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.
Sport has been a massive part of my life. I played various sports since I was in high school. Along with playing games, I love to train myself in order to achieve peak performance and prevent myself from injuries. I always had that curiosity to find out how the professional players are so efficient? How do they are so fast, strong and focused? What kind of training they are into? And even after an injury they recover so fast and return to their game. So, to find the answers I opt physical education as a core subject in high school and started studying about how the human body works during exercise, the role of nutrition and prevention of various injuries. My insatiable thirst for knowledge about human body function in relation to sports inspired me to study physical education and chose to study physical education and sports science as undergraduate course.
During graduation, I got introduced to the science of sports and developed an understanding of how the concept of incorporating science in sports allows an athlete to not only excel and perform at a much higher level but also minimize the chances of injuries and increases career longevity. This concept inspired me to expand my knowledge of science behind sports, and that is how I developed a passion for sports science. Courses like anatomy & first-aid, basic physiology, kinesiology and sports psychology further escalate my interest in this field. Studying these subjects has allowed me to develop a deep understanding of the theoretical aspect of sport, ranging from sports psychology, to the biomechanics of musculoskeletal movement. The desire for industrial exposure and deeper knowledge in the field is my drive to apply for masters program.
I belong to a middle class family consist of 5 members, my parents, a younger brother, an elder sister and me. My father is a shopkeeper, and he is an honest, hard-working and disciplined man he is a great mentor to me, and always says that "it is better to be prepared for any opportunity rather than waiting for it to arrive." My mother is a housewife, and she is the person who gave me confidence support and constant encouragement, she is my biggest cheerleader and her optimistic mindset motivates me to stay positive in any situation. My sister is a music teacher and my little brother is in class 12 at high school. My family is a great pillar of support to me, and they always put faith in my decisions and guide me towards the right path. My parents taught me the value of time and how to respect what you have.
During 1st years summer, I did a minor project name NTCC(Non Teaching Credit Course) in which I organised small tournaments of football, Kabaddi, volleyball and self-defence training camp with team of my college friends. This project developed my managerial skills and problem solving ability. In my 2nd semester I attended a workshop of SPECIAL OLYMPIC FOOTBALL COACHING PROGRAM by Tottenham Hotspur foundation which helped me to understand and find the ways to help differentially able athletes to play and enjoy football.
In my summer break of 2nd year I did an internship at **** football club summer camp and I worked there as an assistant coach and my work was to provide young athlete the basic understanding of football and plan drills & games to improve their ability to play football. Later on I got a chance to volunteer in AIFF Golden Baby league. My work was to manage teams of U-10 players, plan strategy for their matches and guide them on and off the field. It was a great experience and it help me to develope my leadership and coaching skills.
Currently I am working at the **** football academy as an assistant coach, and I am training athletes of U-15 age group. At work, I always try to train my young athlete in a manner so that they can achieve their optimum performance and become less prone to injuries.
Regarding my community service activities, I volunteered in Clean India Mission held by the National Volunteer Organization in my locality and in every 15th of August (Independence Day) me with my friends organise sports day with an objective to achieve maximum participation of young children in outdoor games and encourage them to maintain physical fitness and to promote the Fit India Movement. Other than my academics and sports I draw sketches in my free time and love to dance.
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The motivational questions you are using in this essay are very shallow and basic. These do not represent a strong academic and professional reason for you to pursue such a prestigious scholarship overseas. These sound more like the questions someone who is considering his undergraduate course options would be asking himself. These are not the motivational points that would increase your profile as an applicant. Your relevant training is acceptable. However, these do not seem to have a professional relevance since these are just undergraduate training experiences. If you can expand on your professional experience as:
- a motivating factor
- event that influenced your decision to apply overseas for a scholarship
- any risks you might have taken as a professional
- motivation to choose studying in Korea rather than your home country
To name but a few considerations, you should be able to revise the essay into a more relevant and useful presentation.