Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 3


Personal Statement (Applying for Ph. D. in the field of China Studies)


Jennifer3086 1 / 1  
Oct 30, 2019   #1
I'm applying for Ph. D. program -religion and Chinese culture; any help and feedbacks will be appreciated!

my interest in attending this school



Can you imagine? When I was a little girl, on my birthdays, my mom would pray for me with her hands on my shoulders, while my grandma rolled a boiled egg on top of my head and let it fall to the ground along with my bad luck. These childhood scenes, indelibly etched in my memory, are the sources of my fascination with religion and Chinese culture.

I was born and bred in a traditional Chinese rural family; nevertheless, things changed ever since my dad had a stroke at his 32, and my mom converted to Christianity. My grandma, a typical Chinese old lady, familiar with various customs and legends, believes in every unknown being whether it is god or God. My dad passed away five years after his first stroke. In order to raise her children, after arduous inner struggle, my mom decided to remarry, which irritated grandma so much that she renounced her daughter-in-law as well as grandchildren. From then on, grandma nursed a grudge against my mom and her belief. She couldn't stop blaming God for taking her beloveds away until this Tomb-sweeping Day; she died. Her death also forced me to ruminate on the religious choice and its possible outcome accordingly.

I have always been a very inquisitive person, as well as one who delights in taking things apart and putting them back together. I cannot help but wonder how culture and religion exert impacts on my life and others' alike. However, honestly, I was easily distraught at the thought of it when I was a teenager, and I almost lost my goals in life when I began my college career on something far from a fully auspicious note. I naively chose a major not suited to my interests and wound up with four-year unpleasant study of Accounting. After my graduation, I lived independently and worked for about two years; during this period, I went from being a youngster whose main concerns were school, books, and TV, to an adult whose awareness of larger and more serious issues grew enormously. As I matured, I had a chance to weigh other options and to take a long, hard look at myself. What I discovered, in time, was that instead of being an accountant, the probing of what interested me was a more appropriate career path for me. Therefore, I made my mind to obtain the Master of Arts in the past 3 years or so. I returned to school with more sophistication and perspective, and I found myself more exhilarated and excited about my studies than ever before.

In the School of Foreign Studies at my university, I have done quite a lot of research work in the area of religion and cross-cultural studies, and I am indebted to my supervisor, who is an accomplished scholar on traditional Chinese culture. With his help, I cooperated with another classmate and did some research work to translate one chapter of a book Religion in China: Religion in the Han Era; this experience has instilled in me a desire to do academic research in the area of Chinese religion. Under his supervision, I finished the paper, the Influence of Bible on the Narrative Style of Silence written by Shusaku Endo, which won the First Prize in the 14th Postgraduate Academic Forum at CUMT. In this paper, my study focuses on the influence of biblical narrative on Shusaku Endo's novel Silence. In particular, I examine Endo's creative reference to biblical allusions, and the complex ways in which he reflects on and links up with historic memory. Through hermeneutic literary analysis, my paper explores the psychological wounds and spiritual needs of ordinary people in Endo's work. Besides, my dissertation work, Space, Ethnicity, and Culture: the Cross-border Writing in After China and Shanghai Dancing by Brian Castro, also has a strong concern with Chinese culture; one objective for this dissertation is to show the influence of Taoism and certain schools of Buddhist thought on Brian Castro's work. These academic experiences have further stimulated and reinforced my determination to pursue a doctorate in China studies. I enjoy studying religion and Chinese culture for its own sake and would like to continue my studies on the level demanded by the Ph. D. program.

Another exciting phase of my time at my university has been my collaboration with Professor Zhang Maomao in two programs, "the English Course of Traditional Chinese Sports" and the compilation of the Traditional Chinese Sports (Bilingual Version), which provide a liaison between Sports and Chinese culture. In the first program, I took the role of a teaching assistant, preparing necessary materials, translating lecture notes, performing key movements, and teaching some courses, namely, the Chinese Martial Arts, Five-animal Frolics, and Eight Pieces of Brocade. The compilation of the bilingual book is in fact a further research based on the first program. Instead of doing external organizing work, more internal theoretical studies are required. After months of plowing through tomes and websites, I came to realize that, to some extent, traditional Chinese culture was embedded in Chinese religion, be it Taoism or Confucianism (though some regard it as a philosophy rather than a religion). The publication of the book was a big confidence booster, and I viewed this as the beginning of a new period of achievement and action. I have passion and I have ability, and I believe that together these are a powerful pair for me to start my doctoral study.

I am highly aware of the international prestige of your school, and my contact with several of your alumni has served to deepen my interest in attending. I know that, apart from your excellent faculty, your institute for China studies are among the best in the state. I hope you will give me the privilege of continuing my studies at your school.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Nov 1, 2019   #2
@Jennifer3086
Hi there. Thanks for coming to the forum, and welcome! Hopefully, my feedback will give you an idea on how to improve your writing. Please do not hesitate to approach us once more for more information.

First and foremost, I truly like the manner that you write your essay. The approach is very personal and yet comprehensive enough to be technical and professional. Do keep this up!

What I do suggest is to try to compartmentalize your writing in a better light. For example, while the second to the last paragraph was an excellent showcase of your skills, I found that you needed to compress the details a bit more to ensure that you are delivering the message both with clarity and prioritization. In this part, try your best to get a core value and basing all of your written work in accordance to such. Doing this will help improve the writing's technicality and appeal.

Best of luck.
OP Jennifer3086 1 / 1  
Nov 1, 2019   #3
Hi, @Maria. Many thanks for your advice!
The PS I posted was sorted in chronological order, therefore, the theme of each paragraph seems to be a bit disorganized. Your suggestions are really precious!Should I delete some details related to the papers' content and keep the number of words around 900?


Home / Scholarship / Personal Statement (Applying for Ph. D. in the field of China Studies)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳