Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 3

Personal Statement for Erasmus Mundus Joint Master : Global Markets, Local Creativities Programme

muritipo 1 / 1  
Dec 22, 2021   #1
Hi, I'm looking to submit it in early January, hope I can get some suggestions about my personal statement from the experts here.


In the last 25 years, Indonesia has experienced three economic shocks. The first occurred in 1998 when Indonesia experienced a monetary crisis where Indonesia's Current Deficit Account was at the level of 3% of Gross Domestic Product (GDP), resulting in President Suharto's fall, who had served for 32 years. The second occurred in 2008 when Indonesia experienced a financial crisis due to the bankruptcy of the US property company Lehman Brothers, which quickly spread throughout the world. Moreover, the last economic recession was caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. All of them have one thing in common in Indonesia: the role of Micro, Small and Medium Enterprises (MSMEs) is closely related to supporting the Indonesian economy.

During the 1998 monetary crisis, export-oriented MSMEs reaped extraordinary benefits due to the gap in the exchange rate. In the 2008 global financial crisis, MSMEs were not significantly affected due to the absence of foreign debt taken by MSMEs and the orientation of MSMEs in Indonesia, which focused more on the local market. In fact, MSMEs helped GDP growth by 5.8% due to increasing public consumption. However, different conditions occur in the current COVID-19 pandemic, while MSMEs have been affected more deeply than the two previous crises due to the weakening of public consumption caused by social distancing policies. In these conditions, it is necessary to have the right mix between public policies oriented towards the development economy and the MSMEs strategy.

The 1998 and 2008 crises left a deep impression because they affected the lives of the people around me, which led me to take Diploma III and Diploma IV degrees at the government-affiliated school, Polytechnic of State Finance STAN, to understand how the government works. In addition, I also pursued an undergraduate degree at the University of Indonesia to broaden my perspective on the company's operations and financial strategy. When I studied the Global Business course at Universitas Indonesia, I learned about globalization in the business world and how it can change the game massively. I also learned the same thing at Polytechnic of State Finance STAN when I studied Corporate Governance course, which I then linked with the research on improving export performance through Bonded Zone customs facilities in my undergraduate thesis. The results of this undergraduate thesis were then presented to the Director of Customs Facilities, which later became one of the inputs in changing public policy for bonded zones in 2018.

My first professional experience was in 2012 when I worked at the Indonesian Capital Market and Financial Institution Supervisory Agency for three months after obtaining my Diploma III degree in Taxation; after that, I was transferred to the Directorate General of Customs and Excise until now. Since I always strive to advance my studies, in 2014, I went back to school to obtain my bachelor's degree in Economics from Universitas Indonesia. A year later, I got a scholarship from the Ministry of Finance to further my vocational studies (Diploma IV degree) at Polytechnic of State Finance STAN.

After finishing my bachelor's degree at Polytechnic of State Finance STAN in 2017 and getting back to my office, I immediately got a project to complete the automation of inter-agency business processes for submitting an application for facilities in the upstream oil and gas and geothermal industry. I collaborated with the IT team to develop business process automation, where I worked on process flow charts and legal drafting. This automation process was fully implemented in early 2020 and succeeded in reducing the overall submission time from the previous 2 months to 14 days and for the application for customs facilities from the last 5 days to only 5 hours. Automation does accelerate the application process, but it also confirms the criteria for domestic components that can help develop local businesses in the upstream oil and gas and geothermal industry.

My professional experience also includes being a representative team of the Directorate of Customs Facilities consisting of three people tasked with drafting the amendment of the Indonesian Customs Bill from 2019 until 2020. In this Bill, we tried to include aspirations related to local business development through customs facility initiative ideas and finalized the proposal so that the House of Representatives could approve it.

The things referred to above made me choose to apply for the Global Markets, Local Creativities - Global Markets & Development pathway. This study track amalgamates my education in Economics and my experience as a civil servant at the Ministry of Finance of the Republic of Indonesia, specifically at the Directorate General of Customs and Excise, which not only manages the traffic of export-import goods but also assists companies and industries to compete globally. Coursework on the Global Market & Development study track explains economic globalization that changes local business sectors and the strategy of companies to adapt to remain competitive and government reactions that are reflected in economic development issues. This is necessary for me because it will teach me how to think from companies' perspectives and learn what governments in European Union countries are doing in order to help these companies to compete globally. At the University of Glasgow, I am preparing to study the concept of globalization and economic theory and compare them with the reality that has occurred. When I move to the Universitat de Barcelona, I will have the opportunity to understand how family businesses relate to globalization, which is very similar to the contours of business in Indonesia. In the third semester at Georg-August-Universität Göttingen, I will pay special attention to the course of development economics, which I really need to improve my economic analysis skills. Furthermore, for my final dissertation, I am interested in writing about the relationship between the growth of the digital economy and the increase in informal economy activities in my dissertation topic.

Upon completing my master degree in the GLOCAL programme, I aim to go back to the Ministry of Finance of the Republic of Indonesia to implement the knowledge and skills I gained there. This valuable opportunity to study at a consortium of prestigious European universities will pave the way for me to become an Indonesia Finance Attache in the next few years, so I look forward to an experience that will enrich me with European culture and history. Being the representative of Indonesia among a select few lucky enough to be an Erasmus+ scholar makes me bear the responsibility to act as an ambassador that reflects the attitude of my country, and I would gladly be willing to do so.

I sincerely hope the admission committee finds my profile well suited for this opportunity.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,857 4179  
Dec 22, 2021   #2
I believe that you should summarize the first 3 paragraphs. The last thing the reviewer needs is a financial history lesson about your country. Summarize it by explaining immediately how these experiences influenced your undergraduate interests. That way, The historical lesson becomes an academic backgrounder for you, which is a notable part of this essay. From there, jump as soon as you can into your professional discussion that will explain the main purpose for your desire to study this track. That means, move up the reference to an actual career path for you. No vagueness in this reference please. Explain your career motives to indicate how useful the studies will be for you. Concentrate on:

Professional needs + Work Experience + Relevant GLocal references + Relationship to your country's development + Future vision for your career = Focused Personal Statement

Think of it this way, a blended discussion in every paragraph will better allow the reviewer to consider your qualifications, experiences, and interests in the program. By showing a clear and definitive connection between these aspects, the reviewer will understand how everything ties into your decision to choose specific universities, programs, and commit 2 years of your life to this learning process. These are elements that do not exist in your current statement. Your future career plan is too general a statement to be considered a solid career path based on the requirements of the program you have chosen. The Where, When, and Why of that career outcome needs to be related to the previous paragraphs in a manner that completes the discussion arc.

You need to create combined paragraphs to help shorten the presentation and create a more relevant discussion for your presentation.
OP muritipo 1 / 1  
Dec 23, 2021   #3
Thank you, I appreciate it a lot. I honestly think that my first 3 paragraphs are not connected very well, and my other paragraphs are too wordy.

Home / Scholarship / Personal Statement for Erasmus Mundus Joint Master : Global Markets, Local Creativities Programme