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Statement explaining why I'm interested in pursuing my education abroad.


Mixd 1 / -  
Jan 14, 2014   #1
I had to write statement explaining why I'm interested in pursuing my education abroad. It should include following points:
- adescription of your academic and personal ambitions (supported by your actions, achievements and involvement in extracurricular activities to date) - what does really motivate and drive you? what is important to you in life?;

- a description both of what you might contribute to the school life and what you would hope to gain from the experience - each of our partner schools is unique and offers tremendous opportunities for personal growth, but requires of each individual student to take an active part in school life - how will you enrich it with your presence and talents?;

- a clear answer to the question of why YOU should be awarded a place on the programme - the selection process is competitive - how do you stand out among the other applicants?

Here it is:

When I was a child I was dreaming about being an astronaut. Some people abandon their dreams or skills. But in my case they just fade out, make way for the new, and form the basis of what I can learn next.

I learned to read at a very early stage and as such even in nursery I was asked to read to my fellow classmates. Reading a lot has benefitted me. I could learn quicker than others.

Once my teacher asked me if I wanted to participate in a math kangaroo contest. I took the test, I was average in math, but found the test easy. Few months later it turned out that I had fared really well in the test, and had won a trip. The same happened three more times in future. My reading abilities had a great deal of influence on how I solved mathematical problems.

The working of appliances always caught my fancy and I always dreamt of creating some on my own. Without math it would not be possible to design and create such stuff. I have always been fascinated by science and technology, which has lead me to designing and building my own 3d printer.

I think that with my scientific approach and experience I could contribute a lot to school life. I help other students with Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) classes. I did volunteer work doing AV for school assemblies. I also have helped teachers with problems they had with computers.

My intentions have always been supported by actions, and have always supported each other. Presently I am studying at boarding school. I would like to take my knowledge and motivation even further. I would like to learn everything any culture has to offer, and introduce others to my country. I think that the abilities I have are suitable for helping not only people from my school but for everyone.

This is the reason I'm applying to this programme.

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Could you review it and give me any appliances?
ravenleighann 1 / 9  
Jan 14, 2014   #2
What is your motivation I couldn't find it. I see that your reading and math skills contribute to the career path you're interested in. What do you hope to gain from this experience? When approaching a prompt with multiple questions try to not take it as one, answer each question separately and bring it together as a developed essay.
ravenleighann 1 / 9  
Jan 14, 2014   #3
Reading a lot has benefitted me. I could learn quicker than others.
this is weird wording try: My ability of reading at an advanced level allowed me to comprehend and learn faster than others of my own age.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 17, 2014   #4
The biggest issue I noticed with your writing is that your ideas are so detached and do not create a smooth flow :( .... Let's take this first para;

When I was a child I was dreaming about being an astronaut. Some people abandon their dreams or skills. But in my case they just fade out, make way for the new, and form the basis of what I can learn next.

... I don't understand why you talked about your dream of becoming astronaut if it didn't have any significance to your current personal or academic ambitions. In my view, you should be talking what is relevant for your answer :(


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