Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 3


Statement of purpose for higher studies in Materials Science and Engineering


AR13301 1 / 3  
Aug 17, 2019   #1

my interest - The modern batteries



Applicant Name: Abdul Rahman
After three and half year's work experience as a research engineer in one of Pakistan's leading research institutes, Pakistan Council of Scientific and Industrial Research (PCSIR) I want to return to academic study and undertake graduate studies in Materials Science and Engineering.

I always believed that no barrier could beat perseverance, which motivated me to work hard despite severe financial hardships. I got 93% in higher school and secured a scholarship for a college education. My college education was also good which is shown by securing a scholarship for bachelor levels studies.

I got admission in University I took metallurgical and materials engineering course for my undergraduate studies. Because this was the only course in which materials science was offered.

During my undergraduate, I got through three projects. In which two were semester projects and one was my final year project. In my semester project, I studied the Lead Brass properties and uses in bullets. This was a semester project. This includes the post-examination of bullets. We used different targets to study the impact. In my second project, I covered the area of Aluminum alloys and the effect of alloying elements in Age Hardening. In my final year project, I worked in a team of three members. Other than course/study, I learned the team management, work as a team, building trust and creativity. In the poster presentation, we secured 2nd position in the department and stood 6th in the overall competition.

I worked as a Trainee Engineer in a local firm. There, with the guidelines of senior design engineer, we build a pneumatic paint machine. This paint machine was used for painting and phosphating the cylinder. We also digitalized the gas-fired burner for cylinders. We introduced the post-examination of paint inspection of cylinders to decrease the rejection.

I have also done certification in Welding Inspection from The Welding Institute International. I also hold training in Cathodic Protection techniques and Cathodic Protection Survey Techniques. I served as Assistant Corrosion Engineer in Sui Northern Gas Pipeline Ltd, the country's largest gas distribution company.

Currently, I'm working in the Pakistan Council of Scientific and Industrial Research as a Junior Engineer/Senior Instructor. I have to perform mechanical metallographic testing and some research on the coating of materials and also have to deliver lectures to students. To conduct special lectures for industrial persons. I introduced eight courses for industrial personnel and also for students.

I want to pursue my studies in materials science/engineering specifically the application of materials in the energy sector. The modern batteries including Li-Ion batteries, graphene battery and These are the most demanding and attention required topic. The use of alternative energy resources is the need of the hour. Conventional sources have much bad effect on the environment and also a cause of global warming. Other than this, the use of the latest battery technology in the automobile sector has been revolutionized by modern technologies. The use of batteries in cars, Aeroplan and drones are amazing. Not just the auto sector but also other device technologies.

My country is starving in the energy sector. And also, one of those countries who are badly affected by global warming. The deforestation, increase in cars and industrial smoke are the causes of this. Through in-depth knowledge of material will help to solve the problems involved. Through renewable energy, the impact of these things will be less or help to reduce the impact.

I am very aware of the excellent reputation of your university, and my conversations with several of your alumni have served to deepen my interest in attending. I know that, in addition to your excellent faculty, your computer facilities are among the best. I hope you will give me the privilege of continuing my studies at your fine institution.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Aug 17, 2019   #2
@AR13301
Hello. Welcome to the forum. I hope you're doing well in whatever you're looking after. I'm here to provide feedback on this written work to help you move forward. I hope this helps!

The first two paragraphs were decent as formal introductions. Despite this, the succeeding paragraphs had issues circulating mostly around the structure of your writing. Notice how you had lacked the usage of appropriate punctuation in a lot of instances, making your writing appear to be quite messy and cluttered.

Try to also prioritize details that you're plugging into the text. Remember that, while it's helpful to be descriptive, being overbearing can be pessimsitically perceived throughout your writing. This is specifically a concern for the third to fourth paragraphs. You do not need to mention all details. Simplify and reiterate why this is critical for the judgment of the readers.

Furthermore, using a first person perspective throughout is quite offputting. I recommend revising your first sentences for it to have more impact.
OP AR13301 1 / 3  
Aug 18, 2019   #3
Greeting @Maria
Thanks alot for your precious time and this kind favour. I'll try to resolve the highlighted mistakes and again look for you.


Home / Scholarship / Statement of purpose for higher studies in Materials Science and Engineering
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳