I was born in Mali, a country where education is a privilege, especially for girls. My parents decided to move to Paris in prospect of a brighter future when I was just a toddler. Their journey wasn't without obstacles, however, but they managed to offer my siblings and me a better education and more opportunities. Taking the example from myparents, I early understood early that if I set clear goals and worked hard; hard I could envision my future and direct the path of my life. When I was ten, I took a life- changing trip to New York; it became a childhood dream of mine to one day study in the United States. I finally realized that dream when I moved to New York alone at the age of 18. I chose to attend ************ to earn my Bachelor degree, because I believed going to school in New York would add new dimensions to my education, both culturally and academically. I was, however, not ready for the realities and challenges I was about to endure.
As a freshman and International Student I was presented with many challenges, like learning a new language, adjusting to a new environment, while working and attending school. The situation was further exacerbated by the fact that my father, who was so far providing financial support, disagreed with my field of study choice and consequently discontinued his support. In order to stay in school and defray the cost of my tuition and living expenses, I worked, sometimes as many as three jobs, while beingremaining a full time student. These circumstances definitely took a toll on me, and somewhat affected my academic performance. Nonetheless, I had determination, and failure was not an option. Indeed, learning to overcome all of the emotional disturbances and gaining knowledge about the uniqueness of each trial only strengthened my commitment to succeed. I graduated from ********* Community College in the Fall of 2006 and then transferred to ***********.
During my sophomore year at *********, I had the pleasure to meet professors who greatly inspired me and helped me decide what field I wanted to pursue. I chose to major in Media and Communication Arts, with a concentration on Advertising and Public Relations for many reasons. PR to me is about relationships, which is something humanity and societies have always relied on. It requires constant interaction with a diverse publicspublic. I have been working in the school's Information Technology Department as an office assistant for the past 18 months. The daily interaction with students, department directors, and other coworkers helps me understand the importance of communication in all areas of human interaction.
Through my personal and work experience, I have acquired valuable skills that would make me a good representative of the Kaye Scholars program or the Leon Levy scholarship if I was selected. The scholarship would help me finance my education, allowing me to focus on academic excellence and gaining valuable experience. A housing grant would be an incredible opportunity as I would not have to worry about how to pay my next rent as much, or would not be required to hold multiple jobs. I could fulfill my desire to help and educate others on important issues and continue to engage in various community outreaches with local organizations and non-profits.
Today, I am amazed by what I am doing and the circumstances under which I am doing it. Surprisingly, I feel extremely lucky. Each of my experiences has helped me evaluate what is important to me in life and in accomplishing my career goals. My experiences have not only allowed me to grow intellectually, but have also fueled my passion for communication and arts. I want to become and Public Relation professional, acting as and advocate to help businesses, organizations and people achieve their goals. I want to raise awareness about subjects that matters to me. I can say that I am very confident in my abilities and I also believe I will become successful, as much as I believed I could come to this country alone, and excel.
Mark: I think one of the mods deleted the original essay because Mark pasted the whole thing instead of just taking out small sections to correct. It is better to not paste the whole essay if possible, Mark, and I think maybe we should try to make that clearer for people Thanks for your work, here, though, and all the work you do... I just wanted to say it is better, if possible, to paste only single sentences instead of the whole essay. It makes the student have to work to use the corrections, and it makes the thread neater.
For this... I would delete this sentence: The scholarship would help me finance my education, allowing me to focus on academic excellence and gaining valuable experience. --- too obvious!
Very impressive essay here...
