Hello everyone,
I will be applying for GKS scholarship in 2020, graduate study.
My major of choice is Communication, University track.
I would be very thankful if you could judge my 1st personal statement draft.
o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to GKS.
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.
PERSONAL STATEMENT
It was a summer holiday in X, USA during my high school years that made me aware of how important communication is for the survival of a human being. I lost my way in the woods in the small village one of my family members lives in and I was unable to find my way back. I met one lady and tried to ask her for help but due to my poor English skills, my plea for help didn't get through to her. Therefore, I had to go deeper into the unknown paths of the forest where I could encounter raccoons, foxes, or worse, bears. In the end, I came across a police station and an empathetic police officer managed to take me back home to my family. After this event, I focused on studying foreign languages and discourse, but communication was always at the back of my mind, keeping my curiosity on its toes.
I began my BA studies in 2015 at XXX University in X, where I discovered my passion for languages and linguistics-related issues. With the help of passionate professors, I learned that what is truly interesting to me is how humans communicate, how even the smallest change in discourse can influence the way the other person sees us. Ever since I began research for my BA thesis (titled XXX), I started to become gradually more interested in how people share information and how different media channels can be used to communicate the same idea differently.
Thus, I decided to pursue my educational career further and apply for this scholarship. I see GKS as a great opportunity for growth and development of myself. Studying abroad, though challenging at times, allows us to take risks and gain experience that is impossible to obtain in any other way.
The first time I became interested in Korea was when I learned about Hangul during one of the classes in University in 2015. The story of King Sejong and his deep love for his countrymen touched my heart and made me look for Korean language classes. Since 2016 I have been attending Korean language classes in the King Sejong Institute in XXX, and as of now, I finished Sejong Korean 6.
During my stay in South Korea in the summer of 2017, I learned more about the history of Korea and understood the people and the culture much better, and this allowed me to start hoping for having a much closer bond with this country. I also made friends in Korea who support me and helped me out whenever I need it. I am sure that I can also count on them in the future and that makes me even more confident in applying for GKS.
After graduating from XXX University in 2018, I began a Master's degree in English studies at the University of XXX, X, intending to continue expanding my knowledge in the context of the discourse of the Internet language and online communication. My main research interest has been Emoji and how Netspeak influences the face-to-face conversation. I am expected to finish graduate school in March of 2020 but I wish to acquire more communication-related knowledge. Therefore, I hope to be admitted to X and be given a chance to satisfy my thirst for knowledge.
The high proficiency in English and the acquired knowledge will help me to fit in better and work more easily on my thesis when attending the university in South Korea. All of my earlier experiences made me more diligent and study-focused as well as let me discover what interests me. Moreover, I already know my weak points when it comes to research-related issues and found methods to overcome them.
Since 2018 I have been working for XXX company, a Korean company based in my country. XXX company is a visual art production and film service agency that connects clients from my country and South Korea. I have been working for the company as Senior Manager, scheduling meetings, planning and directing the work of certain teams. This job expanded my experience in communicating with clients and gave me a better understanding of cultural differences and possible problems that can appear when dealing with different work cultures.I think you should be more direct. The first paragraph and second paragraph don't provide a logical reason on why you decided to pursue Communication or why it makes you so passionate about this profession. Also, what Korea has done in your field, what developments in terms of communication. Why Korea and not other countries. Please don't talk about your weakness; you need to sell yourself as the best candidate. I think you could work more on this essay.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Well,t his is certainly a very strong application essay that highlights all of the salient points of the prompt requirements. Your motivation and continued development of that motivation both through your studies and profession can be found within your work. You may want to revise the first paragraph though. It is running too long and distracts from the motivation in the second paragraph. Try to write a merged paragraph instead that combines the important information from both the 1st and 2dn paragraphs into a strong motivational explanation as your introduction paragraph. Your reasons for wishing to study in Korea, the connection of your education to GKS, the language studies, and the fact that you are employed by a Korean company overseas will all add up to create an impressive personal statement in the end.
