Personal statement for Scholarship; Motivation, Family background, Experience, Activities, and Skill

Hi, I'm Nat
Could you check my personal statement?

study in the developed country - South Korea

Note: anyone can check my grammar? I'm not English tongue descent

As a developing country, education system in Indonesia is not as good as developed countries. I need to continue my school to be a bachelor of business in developed country because by studying in developed country, I can find out how the education system in there. Beside that, what is learned there is different from Indonesia so I can improve more my knowledge and my skill in there. South Korea as one of developed country has a good education system and great scholarship program, by taking this scholarship I hope Korea can help me to learn more about business for my future goals.

Was born in lower-middle class family at a small village in West Kalimantan named Mempawah make me did not know what the meaning of future and what the real life of people. Everything has changed when I move to Jakarta, start from my old sister and my old brother move to Jakarta to find some jobs and then make their own business and become success with their business have motivated me to get a higher school and become an entrepreneur in the future, since that I am make sure my self to learn business and when I am in the high school I take business and management in the field of office administration and graduate as the best student in that field. My interest in business become higher and I always want to explore more about business.

In November 2016 and November 2017 I attended the Student Skill Competition in the field of Office Administration as a school representative but I only got the top ten ranking, I am proud of that because my school as the one of private school that can reach the top ten ranking of 38 school in Jakarta. In this competition I learn that maybe I can be the best at my school or in my environment but other people out there are better than me. It is make me to change my self better than I am now.

For my self defense I joined the karate club at high school. Beside as my self defense, this sport club teach me how to control my self and knowing my self well. In independence day, I am attending several competition such as English speech, music competition and many more. I am taking internship at Bank Mandiri Health Foundation in 1st March until 30th April 2017 and I think this is the best experience for me because I learn the real of a team work and how to be professional in

working.
In 2016 I got my first bronze medal in Forkot Karate Championship and in 2017 I gained Gold medal at Wadokai Karate Championship at Jakarta. I always get the first rank in my high school and at my graduation ceremony I was awarded as the best student in the field of Business Administration and get the highest score on national exam. I hope my statement can be useful for admission committee to consider my application and I would be so grateful to be the part of KGSP student

Regards,

Natalie