Personal statement for pursuing a joint masters in Tourism Development and Culture in UK

Hello,,

Kindly help review my Personal Statement. This is my first attempt as I recently completed my undergraduate degree. Please feel free to highlight any unnessessary information and highlight my mistakes. Your help is highly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

·Explain why you think you are a good candidate for the programme given your previous studies and the courses offered on the programme in both years.

·You should highlight your participation in conferences, internships, non-governmental organisations, summer schools, and other activities connected to the area oftourism development and culture.

·Explain why you think you should be considered for a scholarship.

motivated to choose the TourDC program

I was motivated to choose the TourDC program because of my passion for tourism and sustainability. My previous degree in international tourism management is the best decision I made in life due to its broad tourism dynamics and opportunities it offers. The TourDC likewise complements my previous studies because it adds a solid standard of tourism and sustainability combined with other subjects areas (Tourism sustainability, niche tourism, tourism marketing, destination management etc.) that are an added advantage to my career as a tourism expert. This program develops my previous studies because it brings together diverse cultures and has the power to build my capacity thinking in tourism matters and adds a touch of combined unique experience gained through studying in different partner universities and interacting with students of different nationalities. Furthermore, the TourDC program adds to my academic interests because I love learning and I believe that education is a great engine to personal development. The late Nelson Mandela once said "Education is the most powerful weapon which can be used to change the world". This is a very personal statement to me due to my family background and country (Botswana) tourism background. I intend to be one of the world changers in Botswana's tourism industry but not limited to Botswana and to be one of the prestigious leading young leaders in tourism. My goal is to become the best in what I do and love hence the importance of the TourDC program in my career.

I strongly believe I am a good candidate for this program because of my good academic and work background and my passion for tourism. I received the Deans award for the diploma level in International Tourism management offered in Botswana Accountancy collage under the University of Derby in 2017 and did well in my degree final by obtaining a 2:1 GPA.

My passion for tourism lead me to work as an industrial trainee at the Kgosi Sechele 1 museum (NGO) in Molepolole, Botswana, where I was involved in sustainability projects as the annual Dithubaruba cultural festival for no pay. I also broadened my horizon by volunteering at Lemepe lodge and conference center where I worked as a marketing trainee. Given my unstoppable desire to pursue tourism as a profession, I am a very good candidate for this masters program because my dedication and hard work speak for me.

I should be considered for this scholarship because I am a competent hard worker. Regardless of life's situations, my goal is always to triumph and develop myself personally and career wise. Academically, I am more than able and have the necessary skills to be a top student in the program which will also contribute towards a good reputation for the program. I easily adapt to new environments. I deserve this scholarship because I am a persistent and unique young African lady with the ability to overcome obstacles. Coming from a less privileged family background, I have learned to never give up on my dreams, to work hard to achieve my life goals. As it is, my long-term goal as a tourism major is to become one of the leading lady's in the tourism industry in Botswana but not limited to Botswana, to make a difference in the world and push home the fact that this tourism profession is not inferior but is an amazing experience.

In addition, I should be considered for this scholarship because of my love for learning and education. I have a perfect and suited foundation of the tourism industry obtained through my degree in International tourism management which will be of help during the TourDC masters degree. Lastly, I should be considered for the Erasmus Mundus scholarship because I need it to realize my dream.

Patricia, don't exaggerate in your essays, reviewers hate that. Sentiments such as "the best decision I made in my life" tend to be a general statement that doesn't explain why this was the best decision. While you do have a relevant degree to the field you wish to be admitted into, you are not really making yourself stand out in terms of how you academically achieved during your undergraduate years. Any honors and recognitions during that time will be seen as a strength that could make you a good candidate for the program and also, show that you will be a logical candidate for continuing education under the program.

You need to create a more solid connection between your undergraduate studies and the program offerings. Don't place that information in a parenthesis. This is an academic essay, not a casual essay. For every program point, there needs to be a corresponding undergraduate course or program participation which can help strengthen the idea that your undergraduate program has given you the type of qualifying experience and education that will tie directly into the specific program requirements.

It is not enough to say that you love learning and that education is related to personal development. That is the most tired reference that all student applicants make when applying for admission into a program or when they want to win a scholarship. The reference to Nelson Mandela doesn't help because the reviewer wants to hear your words, your ideas, your theories, your dedication to education, not Nelson Mandela's, regardless of how much you identify with what he said.

While your academic recognition is solid, it is not impressive. Every other candidate for this program will claim the same achievements. The only way to make this essay more notable is by delivering on the training experiences. Your reference to your trainee experience is not developed to the point of impressiveness. You make this sound like an everyday occurrence instead of a notable achievement on your part. You need to impress the reviewer, so expand on it. Discuss your accomplishments as a trainee, don't just say that you were a marketing trainee. What did you learn during this period of learning that stuck with you and further enhanced your love for tourism? Why was this experience important to you? Why should the reviewer consider this a notable reference on your part?

You cannot say that you are a good candidate for the scholarship because of your love for learning and education. Those are the worst reasons you can give because it is so generic, every student is making that implication in their essays. Connect the reason instead to your professional goals for the tourism industry in your country. That will work better in this instance. Work on convincing the reviewer that you have valid academic and professional goals that will result in a positive development for the tourism industry in your country. Your current reasoning is not strong enough. I hope you can revise the essay to make your reference points stronger in presentation.