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Statement of Purpose for Schwarzman Scholarship

Alasa505 1 / 1 1  
Sep 9, 2019   #1

Describe your professional interests and goals and how the program connects with your professional trajectory:

o What particular social, cultural, business, policy, or global issue is your focus of interest? What are the major factors driving
change on this issue?
o Why are you dedicated to this issue, and what is your vision to lead positive impact in the future?
o How will the Schwarzman Scholars program and a deeper knowledge of China's role in the world advance your goals?

I am currently doing a mandatory national youth service corps at federal university of technology, Minna Niger state, civil engineering department, I graduated last year from university of Maiduguri, Borno state, Nigeria in which I studied civil and water resources engineering, I was offered admission and given a chance to explore several numbers of different fields in civil engineering such as geotechnical, structural, water resources, construction management, environmental engineering, highway and transportation engineering and having taken the courses from each of these fields, I also realize I have strong interest and performing excellently in structural courses and it gave me great passion for structural engineering. When I was younger, I observe construction of a high rise building when I used to wait for my dad to pick me after junior secondary school days, from the setting out of the building to the final completion of the building, I admired the construction staff supervising the site wearing their safety wears and holding the building plan in their arms, each time I wait for my dad to pick me up after school and witnessed the machines and other related processes, I my excitement and inquisitiveness knew no bound which made me to read history and discovered that many Nigerian high rise buildings has fallen for one reason or the other and also some are done by unskilled engineers which have destroyed lives and properties. I also found out that civil engineering practice helps in developing the country, having the country at heart gives me passion to develop my country through civil engineering practice and to save lives and properties, to ensure people lives in safe and comfortable environment. my scientific disciple is structural engineering not only because it's the best way to exercise my Gods given talent but because it gives me opportunity to solve the challenging issues in building a safe comfortable Environment and also have direct great impact on my society and country at large

The field I find most interesting, challenging, and practically satisfying is Structural engineering which is a branch of civil engineering, I have an urge in exploring deeper into structural engineering during my undergraduate and I have taken some available design courses such as, reinforced concrete designs, steel designs and timber designs. during my undergraduate I have worked diligently to fully understand and master structural courses and pay full attention and actively participate in the various laboratory test such as compaction test, California bearing ratio test, testing the compressive and flexural strength of reinforced concrete etc. some times after classes I visit the ongoing various construction of faculties within my school to deepen my understanding on what am taught in class and to compare it in real site works and also ask the site engineer questions in areas I found confusing or need more explanations. I always want more understanding and wanting to go deeper into structural engineering

My six months industrial training (IT) in my fourth year of my undergraduate program at FIK construction company, I was assigned under hydraulic structures department which I was exposed to design and construction of double box culvert, single ring culvert, and line drainage. Which gave me a whole idea of the working and code in which work Is done at an actual construction site, with such kind of experience and exposure I received during the industrial training got me further interested in research aspect of structural engineering

After graduation while waiting for mandatory one-year national youth service corps I fenced eight plot of land, constructed fish pound, poultry farm and gateman room all owned by my big brother, where am currently serving I visit the departmental lab which I help in one practical or the other also visits construction site within the university from time to time, where I worship at Nigeria Christian corpers fellowship I am currently a member in the building committee of hall of worship in the orientation camp, paiko, Niger sate Nigeria,

With so much desire, I intend to do my thesis option for graduate study, as Nigeria having problems with infrastructure, I will do my research related to structural engineering in topics such as the structural behaviour under seismic load, mitigation strategies for structure's cracking and structural health monitoring I believe those research areas are practical and beneficial, with my research I have found that your school has done excellent research related to area of my research. with the best facilities and well known great achievement of your university with that I can achieve my goals in your school I am certain that schwarzman scholarship is the best means to pursue my master's program right now and is the best next phase to achieve my goals which would help me deepen my application of the knowledge and skills that I acquire during my undergraduate studies.

Bethel 1 / 2  
Sep 9, 2019   #2
Hello Alasa505. I hope this meets you well. You have done a good job. However, you can do better. I may not be able to relate to with the technical aspects of your story but your essay needs a thorough review. Your first paragraph needs quite a great deal of restructuring and punctuations.

You can also look up for statement of purpose on google.
All the best
Maria [Contributor] - / 1,047 372  
Sep 9, 2019   #3
Hi there. Welcome to the forum! I hope that this feedback somehow assists you in your writing endeavors.

Before I proceed to my input on your writing, I would firstly recommend that you provide a brief introduction about your background and the intent of this essay for us to better assess how to perfect this essay.

Firstly, I recommend that you restrict the length of your essays. Considering that the recommended length for essays would be between four to six sentences, I suggest that you take this into account when you are writing. While it is alright that you have lengthier content, it can also impede with relaying the meaning in a more efficient manner. This will also help you avoid over-explaining details that do not require that much inquiry.

Furthermore, I also recommend that you look over the general composition of your text in terms of the flow of the writing. Notice how some portions require that you have a more sensible approach to writing. Be cautious of your usage of spacing, punctuation. When in doubt, using a more subtle and yet simplified structure always relieves the anxiety of messing up the text.
AR13301 1 / 3  
Sep 17, 2019   #4
one of my mentors told me, don't repeat the things which you can reflect in your CV

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