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Personal statement for Tourism Development and Culture Erasmus Joint Masters Degree


Dannyalc92 1 / 2  
Dec 17, 2018   #1
Hi everyone,
I would like to get some feedback from you, as I am applying to a Masters Degree very different from my Bachelor's Degree. I hope you can help me out reading this and telling me your thoughts.

Thanks in advance,

It should be no longer than 1,200 words and the instructions are the following:

·Explain why you think you are a good candidate for the programme given your previous studies and the courses offered on the programme in both years.

·You should highlight your participation in conferences, internships, non-governmental organisations, summer schools, and other activities connected to the area oftourism development and culture.

·Explain why you think you should be considered for a scholarship.


tourism, culture and architecture



While laying on the grass, I focus on the sky and the airplanes passing by, when a mixture of gratitude and thrill invades me. I go back in time to revive the path of uncertainty and freedom I experienced throughout my recent journey to Europe. The continuous change of people, structures, languages and ambiances have drastically improved my empathy and also have risen critical awareness to find purpose in everything I do.

If I were to design and conceive the ideal place, I would begin by making it safe, comfortable and centred on the concept of a collaborative community. More than the ultimate building, it would be an inclusive public space, because that is where humanity, culture, sustainability, technology and spatiality converge. The main focus would be the creation of an atmosphere where interaction, discussion and exchange of cultural experiences become the heart of the project.

Throughout my undergraduate education, I broadened my conception of architecture in three academic environments, by joining exclusive study abroad programs. In my home country, I acquired the technical skillset to manage a project from beginning to end and examine the theoretical vision of evolution in history of architecture from the prehistoric era until today. In the USA, I applied philosophic and artistic languages in order to conceive a building as a refined masterpiece, endowed with character, aesthetic quality and functionality. Finally, in Australia I engaged in constant cross-cultural experiences to research, design and present a sustainable project to diversified professionals, preparing me for real-world practice. The three contrasting approaches, reshaped my mindset to envision architecture as a changing force that should depict the cultural relevance of a place and establish an open dialogue with local and global communities, bringing down socio-cultural barriers and transcending over time without compromising the future generations.

After graduation, I became an active member of my community association, participating in the generation of proposals that ensure safety and recreation, such as a public park. The initiative was temporarily suspended as some investors acquired the public land to build nine ten-story apartment towers. Most neighbours, including myself, opposed to this idea of increasing local density as there was not enough infrastructure. We finally achieved a favourable outcome from the local government and six months ago the park was opened. Since then, we have organised several events, including football tournaments, art workshops, and also some environmental initiatives like planting trees and maintenance works to improve community engagement. Every weekend I go there either to meditate, exercise or interact with my neighbours. The project has provided the community with a sense of comfort, joy and care. At the end of the day, successful design is about creating meaning and connecting people.

Currently, I am an architect at Sordo Madaleno Arquitectos, a Mexican cutting-edge architectural firm, where I have developed an advanced abstract reasoning and in-depth analysis of theoretical information to achieve practical solutions for big-scale projects, such as mixed use-complexes and all-inclusive resorts. As a Junior Architect, I was assigned to design, from the conceptual to the design development phase, a 80,000 m2 hotel in a fastest-growing destination, Punta Mita, Nayarit. The site conditions, including rugged topography, narrow beachfront and surface runoff, demanded me to explore a diversity of cost-effective and bold design approaches. The proposal was approved two months later, reflecting deep understanding of the context, compliance with the client's requirements, my boss's architectural style and also my reinterpretation of the local culture in terms of materiality and spatiality. With this project, I adapted myself into a very strict timeframe, coordinating a team of two people in order to finish drawings and models, while attending weekly meetings with stakeholders to review the progress. Throughout the process, I have developed exceptional organisation skills to manage different tasks with limited human resources, recognising my teammates abilities in order to surpass the client's expectations in terms of scope, time and budget. Moreover, I became closely involved with the hotel's operational team, analysing the food supply chain management and logistics processes within the complex. As a result, I am constantly adapting the building layout to these necessities and exploring sustainable alternatives to improve the building's performance such as water efficient appliances, grey-water recycling systems and shuttle buses.

However, after almost two years of working in this company, I have encountered ungrounded limitations that cause me anguish and disappointment. First, the embracement of a superficial ideology, where it is believed that sophisticated and utopian design is essential to build outstanding reputation. Many of the projects are focused on the expression of power and segregation, instead of deepening into environmental and socio-economic solutions to create human intelligent cities. Second, the scale of the projects involves a considerable amount of work and dedication, but it can become an endless cycle if the client does not have clarity in their ideas and the company accepts it, vanishing the autonomy of the architect and the purpose of the project. Finally, architecture is conceived in a very static environment, where professionals dedicate most days drafting and modelling in a computer. The lack of exposure with the changing world, hinders inspiration and sensitisation to reach balance between rationality and emotion in the projects. None of the three previous approaches represent my values, ambitions and professional vision, pushing me to not be settled in a comfortable chair and to seek for answers in cross-cultural and cross-disciplinary perspectives .

The Erasmus Joint Master Degree of Tourism Development and Culture will guide my architectural profession towards a social, pragmatic and dynamic approach. This program will introduce essential disciplines to my preparation such as sociology, marketing, operational management and economy to develop a holistic vision that comprises culture, tourism and architecture as memorable authentic experiences. The opportunity to study at University of Glasgow, University of Malta and University Institute Lisbon is crucial to analyse and apply specialised approaches from three main areas of my concern in the tourism industry including sustainability, technology and culture. I am particularly intrigued to develop customised "architourism" models, addressing the current challenges of efficient resourcing, preservation of cultural heritage, empowerment of indigenous communities and effective application of the emerging technologies. In addition, the program will represent a unique version of cross-cultural engagement that I will take advantage of, by networking with local and international students in each leading institution, joining volunteering short-term programs and participating in the two available work placements, while learning Portuguese.

Until now, I have expressed the motives that draw me to this program and my wholehearted intention to advance my way of thinking. My undergraduate academic achievements coupled with my community service and professional experience reflect my endeavour to leave the confines of rules and thrive in a global context. As an applicant of the Erasmus scholarship, I am determined to pour my heart, mind and soul to enrich the program with my emotions, abilities and world perspective. I am confident that tourism and culture can change the way we appreciate and experience architecture.
annanthaayu 7 / 12 4  
Dec 17, 2018   #2
You should highlight more your strengths, so the scholarship provider will consider to choose you as their candidates.
Try stand out more about you, I think, it is better to create a framework writing that you will explain, such as bullet points, then it will not too long-winded in your writing.

Good luck!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,766 4768  
Dec 18, 2018   #3
Mariana, your essay is more of a creative writing piece than it is a statement of purpose for Erasmus Mundus. You need to revise the first half of your essay with regards to your architectural education and experience in relation to the Tourism Development and Culture course you wish to study. I do not see your educational and professional background as being too far in concept and implementation aspects from your chosen major. What I do see, is that you deviated totally from the prompt presentation requirements, which is why this is a very long and creative, but little relevant in terms of information, statement of purpose.

Try to think about your academic years as an undergraduate. What courses do you believe have a relationship with the objectives of the tourist development and culture course? If you can somehow manage to relate one or two subjects from your undergraduate course, perhaps courses related to modern design or architectural preservation, then you will have responded well to the first prompt.

You are not highlighting any sort of continuous training as required by prompt 2 so your essay becomes extremely weak in that aspect. Without proof of continuous training in fields that will somehow manage to relate to your chosen course, as I am instructing you to do with your undergraduate studies, then you will have a problem when it comes to comparisons with other candidates who have stronger continuing education skills in relevant fields.

You can use your current professional experience as an architect to explain why you are a good candidate for the course. However, you should highlight the tourism aspect of the design application. the way that you implemented the project should help to increase your reasoning as to why you will make a good candidate for the scholarship.

Aim to write a totally new essay that is more prompt responsive, informative, and relevant in presentation. Avoid over explaining, do not write a short story, just be direct to the point with your information. Explain and show, do not story tell.


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