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Personal statement "why I wish to be considered for a Scholarship"


ArchF 1 / 1  
Apr 10, 2017   #1
I am applying for the Scholarship, and would like you to ask for your help to edit it. Thank you in advance!

expression of my engagement



"Please write a short paragraph of no more than 250 words stating why you wish to be considered for a Scholarship". Along with this scholarship statement, college application form, personal statement and CV will be used.

Dear Sir/Madam,

Currently, I complete my Bachelor's at XXX University (among 50 best technical institutions in the world, QS), having undergone a tremendously competitive process to get a government Scholarship. Throughout my studies, I have always maintained a high level of academic achievements and was among top 7% of the students on the course (ranked 6th out of 78 students with an of GPA XXX). Furthermore, due to my results in study and research, I was awarded the Rector's Scholarship two years in a row (2015-2017), and received a distinction award for my scientific work.

Moreover, I sought out every opportunity to complement my education through additional training and research. Last year I authored five articles, received first level diploma in the scientific competition of young scholars and participated in the 1st International Research and Practice Conference in XXX, the USA with my paper.

In addition, I take a chance to play clarinet in the musical ensemble and engage as a captain of University's motorsport team to develop my leadership and personal qualities.

During my Master's I will continue to invest every effort to maintain excellent academic results and be actively involved in the research activity of the faculty and the University community overall. Afterwards, my goal is to contribute to the process of the oil recovery optimisation and modernise the industry through my work in the xxx industry.

This scholarship will allow me to pursue this outstanding study opportunity at XXX University and bring my expertise to the next level.

Sincerely,
missayufitri 2 / 3  
Apr 10, 2017   #2
Dear ArchF,

It looks like you had wonderful years at the university, congratulations.

However, I must say that your beginning and middle paragraphs don't fit the last one well. It is really great to read your previous achievements, but the committee can also read them in your CV. I hope you explore your goal more in the essay. Tell them about your dream, your effort, everything that you find related to your proposed program and scholarship.

I hope this can help. Good luck.


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