Dear All,
Appreciate your kind insights in helping me build up my essay for scholarship. I have a bachelors degree in Science and 5 years of work experience as a data analyst in an aid organization. I am planning to apply for Masters degree in statistics ans operations research. thanks in advance..
What is your proposed study intended to achieve. Why you would like to undertake the proposed study and how is it related to your prior experience or future career goals?
A postgraduate qualification in Applied Science (Statistics and Operations Research) enables to broaden theoretical and practical knowledge and skills in statistics. The program is intended to provide enhanced research skill, structures data analysis and data mining with specialized coursework in a number of areas of emphasis. After completing the course I will be ready to contribute as a skilled person to design, perform, analyze and report on research and studies.
I am particularly interested in the course offered at XXX University as it combines practical research works with the theoretical study of the principles of research and data analysis.
I am very committed to a career in research and statistical analysis. As a result I have decided that undertaking a postgraduate in applied statistics would be an essential first step towards my career ambition. After I joined XXX in 2007 as data analyst my interest in statistics grew strong. Since then, I have been actively preparing to apply. My current job demands a lot of analytical and research work. Reports needs to be produced based on surveys, assessments and studies. I have worked with government, aid agencies and consultancies on poverty & nutrition survey and emergency food security assessments. I also act as a poverty and nutrition focal person from the organization. I as well had opportunities to attend short trainings on market and price analysis, monitoring and evaluation and food security assessment. Thus, my joining in the master program in applied statistics would significantly augment the experience I have gained from my five years of work and allow me to put into action everything I will learn both in and outside the classroom upon my return to my current job.
Main suggestion: Be as specific as possible. Please note that the suggestions below are merely suggestions for improving your essay.
Sometimes it helps to divide the question into its constituent parts, so I'm placing paragraphs under the questions that they answer. If a paragraph doesn't answer any of the aforementioned questions, please consider deleting it.
Notes: In actuality, the final question (How is it related to your prior experience or future career goals? ) relates back to the first one:What is your proposed study intended to achieve?I suggest revising your first paragraph with the intention of tying it to the final paragraph. That way you'll have an essay that flows smoothly from beginning to end!
Hi Bhanu,
I think Michael F. has provided you with a good insight and hope you pay attention to his comments and improve your answer... In addition, I feel your answer to the prompt lacks emotional appeal which would certainly help impress the panel of selectors. Just have a look at the following threads in this forum, a few that I could pick for you, to get some idea about answering your prompt in a more conceivable manner; Good luck :)
Dear, Ahmad Zafari, Duminda and Michael F.
Thanks a lot for your insightful advise. Will definitely look into it and try to revise it accordingly.
Might still need your assistance at some point of time.
