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Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship Motivation Letter / Electrical Engineering at Debrecen.


congthanhp 1 / 2  
Jan 14, 2022   #1
Hi.
Currently im new and didnt have any experiences in writing letter like this.
Id be glad if theres any corrections for me.
Feel free to do so bc english isnt my mother tounge languages.
Tks for giving comments and review on my essay.

HERE GOES MY LETTER



Dear Admission Committee

I am writing this letter to apply for a bachelor's in Electrical Engineering at University of Debrecen in Hungary, which is quite relevant to a student majoring in Chemistry and passionate in Natural Sciences subjects like me. I finished my first term as a twelve-grader this January with a promising GPA throughout high school, 9.5/10.

Since I was a kid, I have always wondered about whether there is any particular order in the way things around me work. This directly leads to many electronic devices in my house disappearing because I want to initiate looking for a satisfactory answer myself.

However, due to the pandemic, the last two years have witnessed a total drift in teaching methods of the whole education. This directly leads to the necessity of electronic devices and the internet for students to keep up with their friends and schools. My aim is to seize the gap between classes of society, bring more equal chances for children interfering with poverty and the COVID-19 to study in a well-rounded education system not just in my country but even bigger, all kids around the globe and arouse the sense of willing to learn.

This directly suggests that the opportunity to study Electrical Engineering at Hungary not only provides knowledge but also a chance for me to become the innovation of technology in my country and contribute to the development of society. To be more specific, learning sciences from this program will let me do things that are considered inconceivable like programming or digital techniques, boost my skill set, stimulate the curiosity in my brain, teach me vital skills and strengthen logical thinking when it comes to any problem that requires a proper solution instantaneously. Also, being an electrical engineer, the responsibility of looking for a potential solution to improve the cover and the durability of technology but also preventing people from closing to a sedentary lifestyle is challenging as well.

Soon after completing the course, I will graduate and come back to my beloved country. The perfect way for me to utilize my skills, my educational experiences I have gathered while studying abroad is searching for a job as an IT technician or as an electrical expert in order to fill in the lack of human resources in this field working for the Ministry of Education or Science and Technology. Moreover, I would create a fund, raised by every donor to help children and teachers in rural areas to provide opportunities to access the Internet to improve educational standards and let illiteracy fully vanish.

Additionally, learning in one of the most traditional universities in the world and in a country with a rich history, high-quality education, ideal environment for international students and well-developed facilities and infrastructure in the center of Europe is such an appeal and unrivaled openness to be acquired. Another worth-mentioning detail is that the teaching staff is also remarkable. 28 professors are members of the Hungarian Academy of Sciences and more than 81 percent of teachers with academic degrees. Overall, this program has an ideal combination of cost of living, transportation and especially educating qualities.

First time going abroad to study might be harsh for an 18-year-old student like I am, a number of difficulties, namely cultural shock, time shift or even homesickness could be a huge obstacle on my way to success. However, in order to be a good civilian contributes for the whole society, I would barely enrich my knowledge and responsibility, whatever it takes, to provide better opportunities to people not just in my country but also around the world, just because everybody has a right to learn.

Thank you very much for considering my application.

Sincerely,
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Jan 14, 2022   #2
Since I was a kid,

It is better not to refer to any age bracket in this case. The reviewers tend to believe less in the "kid" point of view. However, they will accept this belief based on a current age mindset. If you read the paragraph without the "kid" reference, you will see that it becomes more impressive and serious in meaning, which is exactly what you want the reviewers to feel when they read the letter.

study Electrical Engineering at Hungary

You have not explained why you believe that the EE program of the university you are applying to is the best option for you. Why this university? What impressed you about the university and their EE program? Why can't you just study in your home country instead? There is no reference to, nor consideration of these discussion questions.

Another worth-mentioning ... academic degrees.

No, this is not worth mentioning. What is worth mentioning is a deep insight into the program curriculum, what interests you about it and why you believe the standard training you received in HS is enough to qualify you as a student under this program
OP congthanhp 1 / 2  
Jan 14, 2022   #3
You have not explained why you believe that the EE program of the university you are applying to is the best option for you. Why this university? What impressed you about the university and their EE program? Why can't you just study in your home country instead? There is no reference to, nor consideration of these discussion questions.

So shud i move the paragraph ''Additionally, ...'' right after the one talking about EE? or just keepin it the same but explaining more in the same paragraph?

Tks 1st
sdiri19 - / 2  
Jan 14, 2022   #4
@congthanhp
However, due to the pandemic, (...) to learn.

Hello congth i hope you doing well i prefer that you don't mension the COVID pandamic because it's as you said a paindamic that's mean it will pass i prefer that you pose a countinuing problems and try to find a solution.
Pettypet 4 / 12  
Jan 15, 2022   #5
Health

study in a well-rounded (....) even bigger, all kids around the globe (......) to learn.

I suggest you use the term globally to represent "even bigger, all kids around the globe" and also incorporate your current views regarding the subject matter to give your essay more credibility
OP congthanhp 1 / 2  
Jan 15, 2022   #6
tks a lot for ur feedbacks, i've did some adjustments from ur suggestions as well as myself too and completed my application today. anw ty so muchhhhh


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