TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
I am a high school graduate from Lahore, Pakistan and an applicant of this scholarship for Bachelors in Architecture Engineering and Technology.
My dreams have not always been the same. I always wanted to be an artist. A person who creates. Whether it be a dancer or composer or a painter or writer. I wanted to create something that prevail in this world for a long time. That reminds its spectators of its creator. But my mother wanted me to pursue Science. So, for my high school, I chose the Sciences and Pre-Engineering Subjects. I managed to score excellent grades in all my subjects. But when I started looking for degree programmes to continue my studies, I came across the field and study of Architecture. I was very fascinated to find out how vast architecture really is. The fact that it has been around us from as long as we know it but never really gave a second look towards it made me more and more curious about it. And when I realized I can coordinate my science and engineering study to the artistic character of mine, I became an architecture enthusiast.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,144 3273
This is a good overall explanation of your interest in the course. It is not a motivational statement as required. The essay is too short, does not focus on your interest in architecture engineering and technology, and fails to develop a clear representation of your ambition as a college graduate of this course. You need to develop at least 3 paragraphs that represent:
- What your specific interest in the course is
- How these will help you achieve a post college career
- Why you have decided to study at a specific university in Hungary
Create a concise presentation of these ideas / motivations in your essay to achieve the ideal (not necessarily perfect) statement of motivation for your application.
The letter is clear and understandable to read.
I like your letter because
1) You made a really clear point in you explanation
2) How it affect the school you go in
3) How it connects to you personally
Overall I really like your letter
You should have include the following points:
Why did you apply to study in Hungary?
What do you expect to gain from your studies?
How will the programme help you to achieve your goals?
Due to some issue i dont really know what but only 1 paragraph from my letter was posted i would really appreciate your time and effort for my help if you could read the rest of my letter
Why Stipendium Hungaricum?
Through this scholarship, apart from the fact that I will be given a chance to pursue my dream, I will be given an opportunity to explore another side of the world. From being in a society that requires a woman to stay behind the four walls of a house, it would be better than one's wildest dream to study in one of the most prestigious countries in Europe. It will give a chance to discover and become accustom to a new culture. Studying in Hungary though Stipendium Hungaricum scholarship will help me increase my ability of adaptation in various environments and circumstances. Moreover, I am a determined student that is thriving to seek opportunities in every positive aspect in life. With my sense of creativity and knowledge of scientific technology, I can prove to be a student that embraces every upcoming challenge whether in education or life itself.
I want to be a person that can live independently, have her freedom, while being in limits set up by myself. Being a recipient of the scholarship will not restrict me from providing for myself through any kind of part-time jobs. I will take this scholarship as a breakthrough towards a better life. I have always admired inspiring people and those life quotes that are said to be inspiring but I think that no one can inspire us better than ourselves. Me is the most inspiring word ever and I believe in Me! That is my inspiration.
I sincerely appreciate your consideration towards my application. I might have not mentioned about any of my educational background, experiences or academic achievements but I am concluding my letter with the thought that having an exceptional academic background cannot always be the reason behind a successful applicant for either a college, university or a scholarship.
I think this is a very expanded explanation of one simple question. you should answer this question more precisely and to the point. you should also include the educational background that relates you with the program you are applying for. The second paragraph is a bit extra explanatory and the admission committee does not have that much time to go in every detail of your letter so be concise and realistic to attract the admission committee and in the last para, you have said that exceptional academic background can not always be the reason for a successful candidate, this might create negative impression because till this moment the admission committee and not met you all the information they have about you is from your previous background which mostly consists of academic achievements.