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Speech in Stockholm during Nobel Prize Oxford Scholarship:Course/Scholarship's impact


dinhhoang0802 1 / 2  
Feb 19, 2010   #1
Hi all,

These are my essays that I am going to submit next week. Since it's a scholarship in UK, I think the essay's style should be different from those in the US. Moreover, I haven't written any new essay since the end of the university application frenzy, so my writing skill gets more and more rusty. Please give me your first impression on this essay. Criticize the essays as hard as you could. And correct my grammatical/expression mistakes as well. Your help is really appreciated. =)

Please describe why you have applied for this course of study at Oxford. You may wish to include information about other relevant academic information (e.g. awards and achievements), your proposed future careers and your activities and interests.

My passion in Physics started when I was an eight-grader. While my friends were fascinated by Superman's superhuman strength, Archimedes with his lever mesmerized me. My friends dreamed of becoming James Bond. I envisioned myself making the speech in Stockholm during Nobel Prize ceremony. Fast-forward five years later, because I was completely illiterate during the first Olympiad training session, I read everything I could get my hands on in the school library (my favorite was University Physics). Countless plastic bookmarks on library books filled with illegible Greek letters put me on the school librarian's black list. Many sleep-deprived nights solving problems made me a Starbucks addict. Frequent late returns from the research lab gave me a few demerit points. My perspective about the world of Physic might have been shaped by the limited high school knowledge that I have gained, but it has given birth to a desire to explore the endless expanses of life as a Physicist.

I am not Lev Landau who is a child prodigy (though I did get perfect score for all my APs). Neither have I yet to discover Higgs particle (but I did experiment with high-energy proton beams in my research thesis). I am simply someone who determines to be the first Vietnamese Nobel Laureate in Physics. The decision to become a scientist was easy for me, and pursuing undergraduate at Oxford was always my childhood dream. I was originally fascinated by the fact that Stephen Hawking was an Oxonian, but Oxford appealed to me because Oxford Physics is one of the largest departments in Europe pursuing forefront research as well as training the next generation of leaders in Physics, particularly in the field of Theoretical Physics. Pursuing Physics at Oxford is logically the next step towards a career in science.

Supporting statement:
1. Why are you applying for this scholarship and what impact will it have on your career?
2. How would you use the education you receive at Oxford for the benefit of your community?


My ambition is to build the very first high-energy particle accelerator in Vietnam, and found the first National Institute for Theoretical Physics. Admittedly, the subject can be seen as an irrelevant and expensive subject unbeneficial to a country like Vietnam. However, what a developing country particularly needs are experts in technology fields who can help to train groups of specialists to industrialize the nation and provide the government with sound technological advices on strategic projects, and even in circles of concerns, including nuclear energy, seismology, and military. Moreover, with little exposure to the world scientific community, few research facilities and seed funds available, many gifted scientists in Vietnam are often at huge disadvantage and have no alternative but to seek grants to carry out a whole PhD course overseas. With the special emphasis on the need to train scientists and technicians in the field of Physics, the Institute will resolve the pressing need to reverse the regress by allowing deserving physicists to carry out original research in Vietnam, rather than having them to go abroad, possibly never to return.

With my ambition, Reach Oxford scholarship will provide me with a wide range of opportunities that makes a significant impact on my career path. A scholarship recipient is an important achievement that will not only raise my credentials in the scientific community but also act as a useful vehicle to meet an interesting community at Oxford. The internship at John Adams Institute for Accelerator Science would give me insights into the full spectrum of advanced accelerator technologies for particle physics at work. My two majors on Particle Physics and Theoretical Physics during the final year would be especially invaluable preparation in the early stage of my career. The unique tutorial system would build up and hone my debate skill, a necessary talent to defend the positions I has taken up, and to broaden my development as a scholar and as a person.

Oxford also impresses me by its student body. Oxford Student Union is not vested with elitism, apart from the pledge to remove the barriers that hinder admissions into Oxford and ensure the quality education each Oxonian justly deserves. Outside the classroom, the Union has produced and sent the Alternative Prospectuses to over 3,000 schools in the UK, and initiated a flagship school visiting program to debunk the various myths about going to Oxford. In spite of these efforts, there seems to be very few Vietnamese pursuing undergraduate at Oxford. While at Oxford, I plan to take part in the shadowing program to equip me with necessary skills, and draw on my own experience as a testimony to encourage young Vietnamese to join a community of scholars that I am very excited to be a part of.

I always kept asking myself whether my plan would succeed, for my mother is retiring from health complication after 33 years of teaching. With the gross annual income that is less than 8000 USD, my family is struggling with my sister's undergraduate education in Vietnam, let alone supporting my study at Oxford. By giving me the opportunity to experience Oxford education and to be a part of the student union, Reach Oxford Scholarship has invested its share into the future of the Institute for Theoretical Physics of Vietnam. Of course the institute will not be enough to transform the scientific community in Vietnam overnight, but I am certain that it will nurse a fertile ground for new thought, knowledge, and interdisciplinary applications. Oxford's wealth of knowledge and the spirit of intellectual curiosity will not diminish but will instead be multiplied and passed on to many physicists who will draw a better, brighter picture for the scientific community in my home country.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,337 129  
Feb 20, 2010   #2
Eighth grader

for clarity, put these 2 together: My friends dreamed of becoming James Bond, but I envisioned myself making the speech in Stockholm during Nobel Prize ceremony.

Many sleep-deprived nights solving problems made me a Starbucks addict. ---- ha ha great sentence. You have an entertaining and clear way of expressing yourself, so be confident!

My perspective about the world of Physics...

My ambition is to build the very first high-energy particle accelerator in Vietnam, and found the nation's first National Institute for Theoretical Physics.

the first paragraph of the second essay is very impressive!!!

Here is a confusing part:
With the special emphasis on the need to train scientists and technicians in the field of Physics, the Institute will resolve the pressing need to reverse the regress ???? by allowing deserving physicists to carry out original research in Vietnam, rather than having them to go abroad, possibly never to return.

I always kept asking myself whether my plan would succeed, for my mother was retiring due to health complications after 33 years of teaching.

I really hope you are given lots of good opportunities and that you get to do the things you want to do!


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