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Could you kindly help me to review and check any grammar mistakes in my essay? Every action count! Thank you in advance ;) !
I have been working as secretary in a company with limited human resources for three years. Therefore, I am not only doing clerical things, but also doing employee relation , accounting, and finance works. I found those fields very challenging and gradually trained myself . During my experience , I found the fact that HR and Finance are difficult to be brought together. I also realized that women are still discriminated in workforce. I am determined to improve this condition.The strong urge made me realized that my passion I am destined to follow is to develop company by implementing good management which build great human resource and promote gender equality. I know this resolution needs advanced career and skill. Nevertheless, I realized that my undergraduate degree (Japanese Study) does not give me many options to expand my career and business principle skill needed, even though I have solved many job-related problems, attended seminars in management field and done many training.
For those reasons, I decided to take Master of Business Administration course. The study is the best option to gain skill and knowledge required to become a successful business leader. Many companies also prefer MBA graduate for job that open my way to achieve my goals like HR or employee relation manager and senior secretary .
I searched MBA program information in Indonesia but mainly they focus in research and theories,not in business training, so I looked other countries. I chosed Australia as my first option for the reasons that Australia universities have good reputation and they have course units that suit my interests more than course units from Indonesia institutions have. Moreover, Australia ranks in number 36 for global equality gap and made me utterly believe I can learn gender equality in workforce much from Austalia.
I landed my first choice of institution to Monash University. The main reason is because I meet almost of the entry requirements by language, academic grade and experience. Monash also has concentrations in my area of interest and give chances to experience real life business situation by doing a study tour . The business school is also has strong international reputation. Beside Monash, my second option is Macquire University. Similarly, the university is proven as one of the best university in the world and has courses that suitable for Indonesia business condition .
I have been working as secretarya secretary in a company with limited ...
... clerical things, but also doing take care of employee relation , accounting, and finance works . I found those fields very challenging andI gradually trained myself . DuringFrom my experience , I found the fact ...
I also realized that women are still discriminated in the workforce.
The strong urge made me realized realize that my passion I am destined to follow is to develop a company by implementing good management which builds great human resource ...
I know this resolution needs advanced career and skills .
... many options to expand my career and business principle skill essential business skills required needed , even though I have solved ...
For those reasons, I decided to take the Master of Business Administration course.
Many companies also prefer MBA graduatesfor job thatIt opensopen my way to achieve my goals to be an HR or employee relation manager andor a senior secretary .
I searched for MBA program (...) they focus in on research and theories,not in business training, so I looked tried other countries. I chosedchose Australia as my first option for the reasons thatbecause Australia universities have (...) that suit my interests more than course units, compared to those from Indonesia institutions have .
... and made me utterly believe I can learn more gender equality in the workforce much from Austalia.
The business school is also has strongrenowned international reputation.
... proven as one of the best university universities in the world and has courses that are suitable for Indonesia business condition .
