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Students seek assistance from scholarship programs in order to mitigate their cost of attendance


Sadebenjamin 2 / 5 2  
Dec 24, 2014   #1
Submit a one page personal statement explaining why this scholarship is important to you as well as career goals

I'm not finished but would appreciate criticism on what I have now. Thank you in advance:

Grace D. Dreher Memorial Scholarship

With a college education getting increasingly expensive, each year it proves more imperative for a student to seek assistance from scholarship programs such as this in order to mitigate their overall cost of attendance. The winning of this scholarship is important to me because I realize financial strain I'm about to embark in, and any gift that can help offset the cost of attending my first choice school would be a blessing.

Upon matriculating to college, I plan to double major in chemistry and philosophy. Although I love chemistry as subject and excell academically in my chemistry courses, philosophy is what excites me. In my leisure time one can often find me curled up in a corner catching up on my independent study of philosophical subjects such as Kant's morality, Nietzsche's nihilism, or Ayn Rand's objectivism. I often ruminate on age old philosophical questions like "To what extent can human happiness be achieved?", "What real meaning exists in one's temperol life?", and "Does God exist?". A philosophical approach is often applicable to most things in life and a degree in philosophy will help me develop more refined critical thinking skills needed for the future.

Chemistry is the pragmatic constituant of my double major. Indeed, chemistry is a subject that over the last three years of my education I have grown a fondness to. I delight in performing fastidiously conducted titrations experiments, I take pleasure in learning about complex wave theory, and enjoy when I understanding the properties concerning the smallest parts of matter in our known universe- the atom.
Modewap 16 / 70 13  
Dec 24, 2014   #2
Benjamin, what are the criteria for eligibility of this scholarship? The criteria will make me suggests a better way to develop your essay.

Your introductory paragraph is good but many people applying for this program also know how expensive to fund tertiary education. So for your essay to stand out, you need to include your/family's financial problem(s) and how getting the scholarship will be a blessing to your family.


With a college education getting increasingly expensive, each year it proves more imperative for a student to seek assistance from scholarship programs such as this in order to mitigate their overall cost of attendance. The winning of this scholarship is important to me because I realize financial strain I'm about to embark in, and any gift that can help offset the cost of attending my first choice school would be a blessing.

You spent too much time explaining what you want to major in and it eats up your word counts. Be specific, explain how your academic and general background relates or shapes your view(s) of your major. Explain how your major after your graduation will help solve problem(s) in your community or country and do not forget your dream of giving back to people.

Use the above as guide in modifying your essay and you can also post it here after modification. ;)
OP Sadebenjamin 2 / 5 2  
Dec 24, 2014   #3
Thank you for your insight! This is exactly what the scholarship asks for:
submit a one page signed personal statement explaining
OP Sadebenjamin 2 / 5 2  
Dec 24, 2014   #4
Thank you for your insight! This is exactly what the scholarship asks for:
submit a one page signed personal statement explaining why the scholarship is important to the applicant. Include college and career plans, if known

I agree with you. I should make the first paragraph more personal and add the reasoning as to why the scholarship would be a blessing.

thank you!

I know spent a lot (maybe too much) time explaining my intended major. There is a one page requirement which I assume is for a single spaced essay. I mainly elaborate my intended major to achieve that word limit.

Would you mind looking over my completed essay when it's done?

Thank for the insight you did provide! I will definitely take it into consideration!



Modewap 16 / 70 13  
Dec 31, 2014   #5
Benjamin, I am sorry for late reply. You can drop your review, whenever you're through with it and I think a single side print can take average of 300+ words, which will be a good space to pass your message(s).

Happy new year from Nigeria. 1-1-2015 (3:39am) :)


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