Dear brother and sister here, my name Virak i come from Cambodia, now i want both of you help me to review my essay for applying to scholarship in Japan: the question is: Reason applying to scholarships word 300 to 500 world? your help can make me achieve my childhood dream to study about. and here my sentence i need you correct any grammar error and give feedback to develop it well . Thank you.
Study aboard is difficult if we do not have suffice founds for our study course, without scholarships i cannot achieve my goal and my childhood dream to study and made research in aboard, my mother cannot handle the tuition fee for my study because she is too old and cannot work since 2010, so financial aid is very important to me for paying to the school I has been apply to and it more important for my project research too. The reason to applying scholarship because I need free tuition fee, accommodation, study materials , travels ticket from and back after finish my study, visa cost and anymore which is my needed for complete my course during academic year in japan. As you know Cambodia just grow up from the long last civil war, which is the reason for all people to start and increasing their income for their family, like my family since my father die (in 2003), my mother only one whom is harder earner income for my family for feeding four children and one grandmother in the family, then when I start enroll in the university she still support me until I get part time work, which I can feed my self, it not much salary, and it cannot make to handle the high university cost in aboard if I don't apply for scholarship to get financial aid to support my aboard studying and my project research in Japan, and if I apply to student load it is also good reason to find money to support my study, but I need to start work immediately to start saving money for paying back to students load service which is make me too difficult to demonstrate and lack of my study and it will be the reason can make me fail to do my research and cannot finish my study on time of my project plan.
Studyaboardabroad is difficult if we do not have suffice foundssufficient funds for our study course, without scholarships i cannot achieve my goal and my childhood dream to study and made research in aboard, my mother cannot handle the tuition fee for my study because she is too old and cannot work since 2010, so financial aid is very important to me for paying to the school I has been apply to and it more important for my project research too.
.... This sentence is way too long and does not flow well. First organize your ideas and then present them with short sentences. That helps you make your response more interesting and convincing.
Also, if I am you, my approach would be first tell them about how keen I'm to pursue this course and how I deserve to do that ( I may talk about my passion, capabilities, credentials, skills etc.) Then I will tell them about my financial difficulties in reaching this goal and hence I look for this scholarship. Hope you'd give another attempt and re do this :)
