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Short essay on "Why I want to study abroad and what makes me a good candidate" - in English.


ayazemj 1 / 2  
Apr 3, 2017   #1
Hey, guys! I have to write a short essay about why I want to study abroad in Germany for a year, and what makes me a good candidate. I don't have any other specific instructions!

if you have any suggestions on how to improve it don't hesitate to comment! thanks in advance.

Studying abroad has always been an aspiration of mine but unfortunately, I have never had an opportunity to fulfill it. With this exchange program, I believe I have been given a chance to enhance my prospect and turn my aspiration into a reality.

I am certain this opportunity will allow me to expand my state of mind by pertaining to foreign cultures and engaging with different mindsets. Also, I hope to help those who are less fortunate. I usually help around my community but to help even more people would be a greater asset. Furthermore, there is no doubt that studying abroad will reevaluate my objective view on life and on the world.

In my opinion, Germany is the ideal location to study abroad. Its deep history, sophisticated culture, and superb food are the main reasons
that I aspire to study in Germany. Besides that, this country has also had an immense impact on my family and I. My father, for instance, studied and lived in Germany for over a decade and my cousins continued this tradition by studying there as well. There, I hope to be the next one in my family to experience the extraordinary German lifestyle.

To conclude, I hope that I will obtain this amazing opportunity, for I will not hesitate of taking full advantage of it.
ChiObi 2 / 8 1  
Apr 3, 2017   #2
@ayazemj
Hmmm..you should work more on this essay..the fact it says short essay doesn't mean you should just write what you feel like

Firstly, try arranging your essay so it has the flow that keeps the reader wanting to see the end

Secondly, I couldn't see from your essay what makes you a good candidate to study abroad, you could elaborate more on that eg it could be your language skills, ability to adapt, willingness to learn cause you aspire to put ur qualification into practice etc

Thirdly try giving something extraordinary apart from just your family studying there. You could use your choice of school and course for the reason you wish to study abroad probably the schools in Germany has good facilities and learning, teaching and employment opportunity etc... adding together the culture of the germans and your aspirations

Do more research and make it more meaningful and presentable.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Apr 4, 2017   #3
Aya, even though you were not given a prompt to respond to with your short essay, it is up to you to give your essay a direction, a focus so to speak, that will help the reviewer understand where your desire to study in Germany comes from. Consider a number of factors before you create a new draft for your essay. The factors to consider are:

1. What is your college major? If you are a high school student, explain why you desire to study in Germany.
2. What is the relation of your college major to a German study path? (Skip if you are a high school student.)
3. What advances in this field have occurred in Germany that inspired you to study there? (Skip if you are a high school student).
4. What do you hope to achieve through your studies in Germany?
5. What is your level of German language proficiency? Do you feel that you know enough German to be able to successfully study, interact, and immerse yourself in the culture?

6. Why did you choose to attend (university name)?
7. What kind of social development do you hope to have during this exchange experience?
8. What kind of personality and character traits can you offer your German host family, friends, and classmates during this exchange program?

Using the 8 guide questions above, you should be able to create a more informative personal short essay for this application. Try to keep it within 300 words since this is a "short" essay. Consider using our "Urgent" thread for additional reviews of your revised essay from me. I can only give you one free advice for this question so, if you want more help from me, you will need to list this essay as "Urgent" with our forum moderators.
OP ayazemj 1 / 2  
Apr 8, 2017   #4
@Holt
Thank you, Holt. I wrote a whole new essay based on your instructions. But since I am new here I do not know how to post my new essay on the "Urgent" section. hope you can help. thank you again! Please click on the 'Urgent It!' button on top of the page and follow the simple instructions, thank you!


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