Hello
I need feedback for my essay regarding to Chevening application. Kindly you would help me to check about the content, grammar, and whatever that would make my essay better. I really appreciate any kind of help, thank you.
Essay Questions
explaining a particular program choice
Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future. Please do not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form (minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)
For more equitable and democratic development, in 1999 Indonesia adopted a decentralized system by giving autonomy to local governments to govern and manage their regions. However, there are many problems occur, the 2017 regional economic governance report states that since 2001, 30% of local regulations have been problematic, this has caused stunted regional economic growth, ineffective resources distribution management, even the potential of corruption and abuse of authority. These challenges motivate me to be able to contribute more to solving the problem, and by majoring in governance and public policy can bring me closer to achieving that goal.
My experience as a policy planner has given me a strong foundation to succeed in my chosen courses. I directly involved in defining national priorities and budgets and participated in various forums that discuss the technocratic, political and participatory process as an important element in formulating public policy. I have also been involved in the formulation of regional government work plans, in order to help to synchronize central and regional policies. My background as a bachelor of communication science also helped me to understand the importance of interaction and coordination among government institutions, where overlapping roles often create bottlenecks between decision-makers.
My first choice is the University of Manchester, MSc in Governance and Public Policy. This course will give me the competence of the concepts and practices of contemporary governance and policymaking and the relationship between the state and citizens. Spell out the challenges of public policy governance through modules such as regulation analysis; surveillance; de-politicization; the democratic and legitimacy, including new forms of political participation. I can learn a lot about the implementation of decentralization in the UK where applying the localism bill to facilitate the devolution of decision-making powers from central government control to individuals and communities.
My second choice, MA Politics, Governance and Public Policy from the University of Sheffield. With the module structured to offer me with a deeper analysis of how public policies are applied in the democratic system and will acquire me a detailed practical understanding of the political, economic and social drivers that shape the policy process. I will learn from scholars like Professor Matthew Flinders that focus on following issues such as de-politicization, governance and public policy, legislative studies, and decentralization that are closely in line with my study objectives.
My third choice is an MA in Government, Development and Public Policy from the University of Sussex. This course will give me the competence to explore the whole process of public policy from the big picture of democracy and political economy. There are modules that are aligned with my interests such as public financial management which explores the behavior of the state through the lens of public finances, how to optimize domestic resources and prioritize and allocate resources in ways that deepen democracy, managing macroeconomic balances, and pursuing efficiency and distribution.@azkaharia
Hey there! Good luck with your application for Chevening. I'll provide you with feedback on this work - and, hopefully, it can help you in your application process.
I appreciate the depth that you've introduced from the get-go in the first paragraph. Because you were able to institutionalize immediately your target goal for Chevening, it already ingrained to the readers that you have a particular focal point in mind. This gives you leverage in the process.
I would recommend being more specific in the latter paragraphs still. The second paragraph, in particular, was quite vague in terms of giving descriptions. While descriptors are generally acceptable, you should be cautious of ensuring that they cling well to the entirety of the text.
I also suggest that you still try to shorten some portions (ie. the last three paragraphs) to pave way for a more conclusive ending. You need to have a sharper approach to capping the entirety of the essay to ensure that you are delivering the message clearly that this is truly a part of your desires.
@azkaharia
I wish the best luck for your application.
I have some notes regarding your application:
- Regarding the second paragraph, I think you need to check the grammar as I can see some errors for instance, to solving => to solve, to achieving => to achieve. Also, you need to check the punctuation marks.
- Try to minimize the second paragraph and create a suitable conclusion to clarify your future plans.
Regards,
