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"to study engineering" -outlining study/career aspirations, Scholarship Application


echelonmatrix 1 / -  
Oct 18, 2010   #1
The scholarship I am applying for is for a university academic scholarship requiring a personal statement of no more than 300 words outlining your study and career aspirations.

Following the completion of high school I wish to study engineering, majoring in chemical, and play a pioneering role in the future of renewable energy and lessening the impact the use of our rapidly diminishing fossil fuels have on the environment. It is because of this that I hope to become an engineer as it means that I can pursue something which I am passionate about, mathematics, while at the same time aiding in the environment's recovery.

I hope that with this generous scholarship I will be able to continue my education with greater alacrity and without the additional strain of a part-time job.

I know its too small but their prompt doesn't provide for much leeway and although from what I read on the internet I should illustrate personal attribute such as perseverance, initiative etc. there isn't really a chance to do so.

Any help/criticism you can provide is welcome. Thanks in advance.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Oct 21, 2010   #2
300 words allows you 3 solid paragraphs. Most paragraphs I write are about 300 words.

That makes it possible to give an interesting introduction paragraph that ends with a thesis statement. The thesis statement is the message you want the reader to remember.

Paragraph 2 can give some discussion of a great example to support the main idea.

Paragraph 3 can consider the implications and speculate about the future.


Do not waste a single sentence being plain and boring. I'm afraid this is completely plain and boring: "Following the completion of high school I wish to study engineering, ... the use of our rapidly diminishing fossil fuels have on the environment." You could express this in a sentence of only 12-15 words, and you can add your own unique attitude toward the challenge of engineering innovations for sustainability.

Remember: you should write the essay as if it was something you were writing simply to express yourself, not for a college prompt. That means what you say should be significant enough to write. " It is because of this that I hope to become an engineer as it means that I can pursue something which I am passionate about, mathematics, while at the same time aiding in the environment's recovery." This is written with more words than necessary, and it is just INFORMING the reader of an interest you have. Don't inform the reader; INSPIRE the reader.

A 300 word essay is enough room to express your most meaningful idea, the idea that made you choose engineering over teaching or being a researcher, etc. Share your most valuable insight. :-)


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