Study plan
Nowadays, humans are highly demanded by industries. People find what they want but it is not answer themselves. It is effect to other people and envelopment. The manufacturing is the important part to make the good produce and useful to the people. So they thing the technic, solution, innovation and new technology. To solve the problem even though higher unlimited demand of the human. Import the machines form the Western Europe is very expensive but it comes with quality. The expend things are form transportation, tax and expense for repairs. It is effect to find the people who knowledge in various fields of the machines automatic machines because it is new field for them. So the demand the people in the Control Science and Engineering is popular in Southeast Asia and Developing countries, Thailand also. So the automatic machines is the good choice and good answer to help the manufacturing, reduce an accident during production, reduce the cost of product and reduce the time to production. Other automatic machines facilities it can help the human, the elderly and disabled people use of everyday life happily. And use Detection Technology to fight disease easies. It can raise living better. Nowadays Southeast Asia and also Thailand and China encounter about labor issues, environmental issues, family issues and economic issues. Whenever the science technology can help us to solve this problems and understand in the same way. However environmental issues is important also. We can develop detection technology and automatic equipment to help and save the environmental issues.
My name is___________________. I interesting in Major of Engineering Detection Technology and Automatic Equipment Master Program (检测技术与自动化装置) at Beihang University. The knowledge I can and want to improve the developing countries for example Thailand and big country China also. I graduate from Thailand Bachelor of Engineering Program in Automation Engineering (International Program) Department of Control System and Instrumentation Engineering, King Mongkut's University of Technology Thonburi. My project is WSNs (Wireless sensor network) and Web application for smart home. The project can help the old people to manage the home easier by finger. Simplified life and decrees the dangerous in the house. The major of Engineering Detection Technology and Automatic Equipment at Beihang University this major be needed from many company. This major can create, develop the new innovation and develop device to make comfortable and useful able. This major can point the way of indusial in the future.
Finally, the major of Detection Technology and Automatic Equipment Program this the main major to study. It is the important steps to resolve the problem within the country and outside the country. We can use the technology to help by detection thing and to thing automatically. Has the potential to greatly facilitate the people. The knowledge gained can be used to help personnel and generations involved. Can recommend the correct knowledge in society and industry. Can revolutionize industry with new technology. It happens to be a driving force in developing new technologies for the benefit of mankind in the future. Learn about Chinese language, culture and traditions of China will make an invaluable learning experience for new. From locals knowing life have experience of living abroad, to adaptation in the social.Hi Ekbadin, I just finish reading your essay and for some reason, I got tired reading it, here are a few reasons worth noting.
- the introduction to technology, innovation and all other information about modernization is not necessary to this essay. I understand that you prefer to have a basis to back up your study plan and there's nothing wrong with that, however, you made one full paragraph out of this idea and this is eating up a valuable space on your essay.
- as you can see most of the contributors focused on enhancing the introduction or the first paragraph of the essay and this means that you really need to focus on this part of the essay.
Moving forward, the flow of the essay, the idea that you were trying to convey to your readers and most importantly to the admissions staff is not the ideal transition of a study plan.
However, here's what I suggest, revised the essay with one purpose and one approach, the purpose is not only to impress the admission staff on your writing skills but to send the message that you are ready for the challenge ahead, then the approach, this should be straight forward and direct to the point.
I hope to read your revised essay soon.
