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Study plan for scholarship undergraduate Program. Business Administration majors

Rifqi_ismail 1 / -  
Feb 13, 2020   #1
Hi! Could you to help me, I'm going to apply for the Scholarship for undergraduate Program this year particularly at 17 February. I would be grateful if you guys could give feedback include about grammar to my Personal Statement.

Seek knowledge, even if you must go to china

The Nusa Tenggara Barat is a province that is in the western part of Indonesia, where the beauty of nature is so great that it is called the "pieces of heaven" that people from many countries visit at all times, but inversely proportional to the real quality of education as number 33 of the 34 provinces that exist in Indonesia. There are so many schools that don't meet the standards and are not even feasible even though they are in the city center, and another factor is that many get married after finishing first high school and even drop out of school because of getting married, just as my sister and my mother did.

I was born in the city of mataram on June 25, 2001, the second in three children, my father was a motorcycle taxis; a motorcycle and driver that you pay to take you somewhere with a price cheap like a taxi, which is just an elementary school graduate, and my mother was a housewife and she did not even graduate from elementary school. My family had initially stayed with my grandmother, and my aunt and had been evicted three times, which made things even more difficult. Even though life was very difficult my parents always encouraged me to work hard and supported me to get the highest education possible.

Most of the people start work at the age of 18 or after graduating senior high school, I start work at the age of 12 as a toy dealer, and I don't think my childhood is like any other kid. Except for education, I'm an active, very enthusiasm, and happy to try new things, which has gotten me into several competitions since I was elementary school, so that I'm a constantly evolving, challenging person. I chose to continue my education in vocational high school, in the hope that after graduated from school I could get straight to work and help my family's economy. During high school I not only studied in the classroom, I joined a few discussion forums, instagram video forums and the other. I learned a lot about how to speak well in public, how to make videos for youtube and instagram. From my skills, I was selected to serve as the national "LKS" committee; Annual expertise competition between vocational high school students throughout Indonesia, for video making section.

In my second year of high school, I was chosen to be a bridge in cooperation between my school and PT Amman Mineral Nusa Tenggara that is Indonesia's 5th largest mining company. I worked there for two months which is twice in 2017 and 2018, at human resources department and training department. From there I get a lot of experience, a more disciplined person, having to organize time for work and research from school. I also had a lot of practice with my English skills, much with talking to foreigners, and that was like "kill two birds with one stone", acquiring valuable experience and honing my English skills.

"Seek knowledge, even if you must go to china" is a well-known saying in Indonesia that since ancient times China has a strong education system, It is proven by the rapid economic growth and development in China. Even now, China is the world's second-largest economy. Moreover, development in China is also very fast, as my friend who is studying in Beijing said, Construction of a hospital can build in just 10 days. In addition, China's investment in education has resulted universities that have higher reputations that are not inferior to Universities in Europe, and from The Times higher education 20 of Asia's top universities 7 are from China. Hence, economic development, and education in China, I wanted to participate in using the golden opportunity to study in China on a Chinese government scholarship that would be a bridge to me. I could also learn new languages, new environments, and new cultures and that was the first opportunity I could get, The second was to deepen my knowledge of the field I chose and to get a college degree. And I'm sure there are many unexpected opportunities that I can get. I also hope that what I learn in China will be useful for the development of my country Indonesia and will lead to a partnership between economics and education.

Business is moving the world, which somehow keeps us all connected. It is an interesting thought about how people rely on business to meet their needs and wants, no matter which part of the world they are in. It made me realize that business is more than just sales, which is why it is so important to understand well the complexities of what is out there and represent industry. My interest in business had started since I was an elementary school, and with a little money at my disposal, I sold toys that I made by myself, and it went on until senior high school, I sold Internet vouchers because my school did not provide the Internet. My desire to become an expert in business grew stronger, especially after I worked in a famous restaurant and I was taught to be an expert marketing guy. Now I work for a large retail company in Indonesia, and there is so much to teach about how a business can survive the modern age, looking at market needs, information management, and what is most important is innovation and creativity. But I felt there was something missing in me, and I wanted to do more with my country. I want to move Indonesia through our economies and our businesses, by managing our natural resources.

Many universities or institutions provide business administration majors, but few have great excellence. I chose this university, in addition to being one of the top 100 universities in the world, also because of the international environment that is provided. One of the best ways for students to learn is to learn from others, especially from people of different cultures. Having different experiences and perspectives is ideal for that. In addition, the university is also widely known as a research-based university. It's also a way that I can contribute to this scholar program, to exchange new knowledge, experience and perspective with others. The university is also in a city with a very advanced economy, so it's perfect for a person who wants to learn business and economy by looking at how business works in that city, how the economy in that city is booming.

After I get a bachelor degree, I will return to my country of Indonesia. I will try to become a person who has influence on economic growth and development in Indonesia, because there are so many natural resources that are available and unmanaged, yet they have huge potential for economic development. I will also strive to improve the quality of people's thinking to manage these natural resources. I would also provide motivation to many with the experiences and stories I have.

As a child who was constantly mocked for economic shortcoming, I wanted to help many people so that they would not have the same experiences that I had. No matter where you start, what matters is your dream and your determination to do more, the better to strive to be the best. I am haider ali was not born to be an average, I was also born with strong bones and hearts so I could help many people. I have always believed that the Lord is always with me, that my struggles and journeys will still continue.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,839 4175  
Feb 14, 2020   #2
A study plan requires you to present a possible outline of the way that you plan to pursue your academic interests as a student at the university. It is not a personal statement. What you wrote is a grammatically incorrect personal statement. Which requires extensive professional editing. That type of editing cannot be done on the forum.

However, your title for this essay is a Study Plan for Scholarship. Therefore, I will review this as a study plan, which is what you indicated as the type of paper this is in the title. In a study plan, the reviewer would like to know what sort of business interests you have that will help you become a successful graduate of the course. You need to develop a particular focus that could become the topic of your graduation thesis as an undergraduate. For example, as a business major, you could do research into the mismanagement of Indonesian natural resources and how it can become better managed. The focus of the research will be on discovering the foundational basis of Chinese business management and how it can be applied to an Indonesian setting. The study plan should answer the following:

-What the topic of your research will be
- How you plan to conduct the research
- What your possible / expected outcome is
- How the university can help you complete the research
- Why you believe this research is important for the development of this Indonesian sector
- How the research helps to prepare you for a future as a business administration graduate

All of these are the basic questions that should be addressed in the study plan. The one thing a study plan is not is a biographical look at your family background, educational attainment, and opinions. It has a specific objective in mind which is, to inform the reviewer about how you plan to spend your time as a student at the university and what your future plans are in relation to your current academic interests.
alyssa2036 6 / 19 2  
Feb 14, 2020   #3
Hi there! It's great to find someone who's applying for the same scholarship as I am. I hope I'll be able to give you a useful opinion.

Firstly, I think the requirement for the scholarship is a study plan and not a personal statement. You should make sure since the two are quite different in terms of content. As for me, I think I was told to make a study plan, but I accidentally made a personal statement instead. So I am reconstructing my writing.

To further persuade the reader, I believe you should personalize more parts of your writing. I read somewhere that it's sometimes hard to put the readers in our shoes, therefore we should try to connect with them through our emotions. Another thing is I think you should be more specific in what you're planning to do once you graduate with that degree. I think by doing so you'll prove to the reader that you know what you're doing.

I hope my opinion helps! Good luck!

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