Please help me correct this personal statement. I would be happy if you give me as much comments as I needed.
Motivations with which I apply for this program
Studying cinematography in Korea is one of my biggest dream. I have been waiting a long time for this opportunity, where Korean Government Scholarship Program (KGSP) can be the bridge to achive my dream. Korean film industry has been recognized by the world, even the movies and TV series often be blockbuster. It shows that the cinematography of Korean Film Industry has reached a high level.
Cinematography has become my field and my passion since I was young. In fact, I have become one of the remarkable video maker in my town. After watching some Korean movie, I became very interested in studying cinematography in Korea. I see the framing and the visual effects of the movies are fascinating, equivalent to the Holywood film industry. I believe only a few countries in Asia are able to reach such a level in the film industry. And considering the education system in South Korea is already highly developed, studied cinematography here is the best choice. I believe this scholarship may help me to dig all of my ability in making a great movie which recognized by entire world.
Personal background in family and education
I am the second son in a family of five. In his youth, my father was a painter and photographer. My grandmother was also an announcer and theater performer in her youth. This concludes why I ended up steeped in the world of cinematography. During my school life, I was known as a smart and creative student. Although I was not always in the top rankings, I always managed to get into the top ten. My school is not a film school but has a tradition to produce the best video makers and photographers.
Significant experiences I have had; risks I have taken and achievements I have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on me
I have a lot of experiences in making videos. All of them are precious. But my most significant experience is when I was fighting for my love. I was chasing someone for years. I did everything I could to get her, but it always ended up a rejection. We went to the same school so we often encountered into each other. It makes all the struggle and rejection I tasted feel more real. The numerous rejections makes people question my dignity as a man. Although i was trampled by her, i still continued to fight for her. In the end I stil couldn't get to her, but I didn't regret all of my efforts. From this experience I realized that I was the one who never gives up and ready to sacrifice everything I have whether it's dignity or property for the sake of something I believe in. I also had taken a risk like this in making video. I spent a lot of money to produce a movie that will be registered in a competition. I was very confident I would win, so the prize money could be used to replace the production expenses. But I eventually lost the competition and run out of money. I had to start all over again. Yet I do not regret it because I understood from the beginning how the risks are.
Recruited into the production team of Medanvidgram (greatest instagram video community in my town) is one of my best achievement. This means I have chosen to join the best production team in my town. This achievement makes all the struggles and improvement of my ability in video making is not in vain.
When I first watched the Chandra Liow's (video maker renowned in Indonesia) video on instagram, I found it very easy to make but has a very high commercial value. It motivates me to follow his steps on making videos through instagram, because I believe I can make a video that as good as him. As a result, I managed to success through instagram and become well-known in my town. This changed my whole career and life. And as the skill of Chandra Liow increased, my skills, too. I continue to pursue chandra level and this made him become my role model as well as the most influential person in my life.
Hi Randhi, the followings are my comments regarding your essay:
Studying cinematography in Korea is one of my biggest dream.(one of my biggest dreams: dream+s)
Korean Government Scholarship Program (KGSP) can be the bridge to achive my dream (you may say to "pursue" my dream).
Thank u.
