hi, this is what I' am supposed to write on- Please suggest any areas for improvement?
Please state in the space provided below or on a separate sheet of paper, in your own words, the reasons for this application. Some indication of your financial situation would be helpful. We would also like to know about any achievements you are proud of (academic and/or otherwise) and how you expect your studies to influence your future career. You can also mention how you feel the scholarship and studying at a UK Higher Education Institution will benefit you (and /or your community) when you return home.
As an Indian citizen, It has been my ambition to augment the positive contributions made in the ever growing software industry, with the aim to use the knowledge gained into building applications that benefit rural India, where many reside unaware of their rights to quality education which could lead to subsequent employment and sustained growth. Having been raised in the Middle East,I considered my upbringing more fortunate by comparison,with access to material comfort,but even then,something essential was missing.
Massive online course offerings are now the watch word of the digital platform,with many from underdeveloped backgrounds getting to sit in an online classroom and adding certifications that aid in finding suitable careers. The concept ,however,is yet to take a strong hold in my native in Kerala, where many continue to labor in harsh conditions ,leading burdened lives with debt hanging over their heads.This was the missing piece of the puzzle which became apparent to me when I pursued my undergraduate studies in communication engineering from X. There was a gap between awareness and access to opportunities,particularly for young girls.When I enrolled with the Volunteer Service Organization, my first assignment was as a clinical volunteer for the pediatrics ward.I got to interact with children aged between 5-12, many of whom were suffering from childhood leukemia,cerebral palsy and accidental paralysis.One particular story of a young girl with leukemia,who wished to become an engineer herself touched my heart.Her family belonged to the below poverty line class, and as such lacked the ability to fund her medical and educational expenses.I took it upon myself to help her by contacting the Regional Cancer Centre,300 kilometres away,where subsidized medical care could be availed.It was not easy working through the bureaucratic red tape and speaking continuously with consulting oncologists and the medical director, but I was on a determined path.It became my proudest moment when this girl's mother contacted me weeks later,joyously informing me that not only was she receiving treatment,but the Teach for India movement had contacted them,guaranteeing sponsored education for the locality,having heard the story. The incident taught me the importance of shouldering and seeing through delegated responsibilities, learning to become self reliant and diligent and above all, compassion for those less fortunate.
What made me decide to pursue my postgraduate study in the field of information systems was the lack of a strong female presence in the field of information technology project management. Technical roles for women are limited to strictly software coding, conferencing and technical administration under human resources, but without equipping them with the necessary knowledge of managing business projects. The encouragement to begin, develop and lead new projects and even start technology training is very weak in India and the Middle East, because the concept of coming up with something beneficial in the digital platform is yet to take a strong hold, especially with a woman at the helm, and I intend to use the academic study undertaken to encourage more Asian and Arab women to actively participate and work in STEM firms instead of being regaled to the shadows of limited work sectors. It is a daunting and fledgling task, no doubt, but I am not one to shy away from responsibilities that I am tasked with. I envision massive improvement for Asia through mutual cooperation,establishing a diverse online presence, for any place without technology and is a place without hopes for advancement and development. I intend to underline the importance of project management certifications with plans to introduce a new corporate structure enabling all employees to receive technical and managerial training with enhanced field opportunities. With the establishment of a technical hub in my native town in Kerala, I am confident of presenting a greater net of opportunities that allow young people a chance to learn, to teach and to gain significant experience without compromising on the quality of content.
The University of X has a history of awarding scholarships to promising young students from the developing world in order to bring knowledge, skills and leadership abilities to their home communities. Previous graduates of the XYZ have gone onto represent their worth globally at mainframe computing challenges, which bears testimony to the success of the academic faculty, facilities and encouragement bestowed to students to realize their fullest potential. By becoming one such recipient of the ABC Scholarship, I wish to realize the ambition outlined in my Statement and continue the great work of volunteering alongside charting my professional goals,to meet the growing needs of a great nation. I thank you for your time and consideration for this prestigious award and pay it forward through my work, academically and professionally.
sorry there are errors in sentences- likebut I am not one to shy away from responsibilities that I am tasked with. I envision massive improvement for Asia through mutual cooperation,establishing a diverse online presence, for any place without technology and is a place without hopes for advancement and development. I
but other than these, are there any sentences I should work on and word differently?
- where many resideresidents are unaware of their rights to quality education which
- The concept ,however,is yet to take a strong hold in my native land in Kerala,
- The incident taught me the importance of shoulderingtakingand seeing through delegated responsibilities,
- for any place without technology and is a place without hopes for advancement and development.
- but without equippingthemhaving them equipped with the necessary knowledge of managing business projects.
- It is a daunting and fledglingfledgeling task,
Well, Confusee123, the reasons you provided for your scholarship application is quiet confusing, you seem to go around the topic more as suppose to going with the flow and create a substantial reason to back up your application. I suggest rewriting your application considering the logic and the goal towards winning the scholarship.
This guidelines should help you with the flow of your essay;
- the reasons for this application.
- your financial situation would be helpful
- achievements that you are proud of
- how you expect your studies to influence you professionally and as a person
- reason behind studying at a UK Institution and the benefit of your experience to your community
Cheers!!!
hi, thanks for reviewing.
how does this paragraph sound?
During my undergraduate study, I actively volunteered at the Shirdi Sai Cancer Memorial situated near my university campus. A preteen girl in the pediatric ward I was assigned to was suffering from childhood leukemia and was to be discharged due to her family's inability to continue funding her medical expenses. After hearing her story, I was moved to take action and began a campaign to highlight her plight, using my role as the union representative of the student body. The campaign's motive was to contact the Regional cancer center located 350 miles away in the neighboring state, where subsidized treatment could be availed. This was not an easy task and involved speaking endlessly with doctors and medical directors, working through bureaucratic red tape while juggling academic commitments. My efforts ,however, paid off when the family contacted me two weeks later to inform me that not only was the girl going to receive free treatment for the remaining period, but that the story had reached Teach for India, a national education movement which decided to provide free education to the children of their locality. This small contribution remains one of my proudest moments till date and encouraged me to continue volunteering for causes I feel strongly about. I tasted the satisfaction of lending a helping hand and learnt an important lesson in how the three D's-deliberation, determination and discipline could go a long way into achieving success.
My decision to pursue a post graduate degree in the field of information systems was to expand my understanding of complex, technical advancements and to encourage similar minded women to represent India in the software sector, especially in information technology project management for large scale organizations. The diversity and flexibility of the course curriculum would enable me to acquire the requisite knowledge like no other, learning the art of managing business projects while augmenting existing technical skills set needed to flourish in any profession. Having resided and studied both in India and overseas, I have experienced the difference in the standards of living and wish to offer better opportunities to fellow professionals back home, starting with the proposal to establish a technical hub in my native town. I am confident of bringing in a unique and much-needed perspective to my graduate program and will take the technical and theoretical knowledge gained back with me to further my career goals .
