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'Studying in the UK offers the chance' - Personal - MSc of Clinical Pharmacology


iepach 1 / 1  
Jan 11, 2012   #1
I am planning to apply for master scholarship and I need to write 1000 words of personal statement. I know it's far away from perfect, so i would be grateful and so much appreciate your critique.

Describe in not more than 1,000 words, your reasons for applying for the course you wish to follow and explain how it will help you with the work you expect to

do on your return to your home country.
You should include an outline of your intended profession, your ambitions and your career plan.
Describe also, your most outstanding non-academic achievement involving other people where you demonstrated leadership potential (you may describe an
extra curricular/sport/community/professional activity or an assignment):

Dear Sir or Madam,
" You got a dream... You got to protect it. People can't do something themselves, they want to tell you you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period". Will smith - in Pursuit of Happiness.

Being a great, qualified, and up-to-date pharmacist is my dream and my goal. It takes a long way to make it happened along with tears, sweat and pray. Started from 3,5 years of advance diploma, continue with 2,5 years for undergraduate degree and 1 year of pharmacist profession program which I am currently taking is a proof that I am eager to pursue my dream. It is not an easy way from economical side either, where I covered my tuitution fee on my own.

A 9,3 SR earthquake and great tsunami which devastated Aceh, my hometown in 2004 was my turning point to get an education as high as possible. I was in second year of my advance diploma of pharmacy at that time. Tsunami affect all aspect of life in Aceh at that time including education, economic, and social. Aceh suddenly became global as aid came from all over the world. I took part of giving emergency aid by joining as an administrative clerk in United Nations of World Food Program in Meulaboh, West Aceh. As a consequences for working, I took 1 year break from my college. It gave me great experience of managing, supervising, building a good relationship within the national staff and expatriate, as€ well with the local Non Governmental Organization (NGO) and government, and getting to know different culture of expatriate staff. My insight was widened and it make me realized that I would like to finsih my diploma and pursue higher education. As my college located in Banda Aceh, I need to resigned from UNWFP. Continuing my study, I realized that I need more cash to get to university after I got my diploma, besides I would like to contribute in helping recovery of Aceh. My experiences with UNWFP made me as a qualified candidate to fulfill the position of Administrative Assistant in United Methodist Committee on Relief (UMCOR). Working with UMCOR was a special chance for me as the organization allowed me to go to college during working time as long as I work 8 hours per day and completed my duty. It went well for 2 years and I ended my contract at the same time I completed my diploma with honours.

Having had an advance diploma for pharmacy didn't satisfied my thirst of education. Thus I continue study in Pharmacy Faculty of Sumatra Utara University (USU) for my undergraduate degree using my savings from working with UNWFP and UMCOR. To cover cost for books and laboratory stuff, I worked part time as a tutor in one of private education course, teaching biology and english for student at grade 11th and 12th. I really enjoyed being an educator.

I accomplished my undergraduate degree in 2,5 years and continue with 1 year pharmacist profession program to be a registered pharmacist which is expected to be completed by February 2012. During my 6 weeks of field training in a governement hospital in Medan, I required to do a case study about the treatment profile and drug related problem of a patient. It was so sad that my patient whom I observed died because of improper medications and lack of clinical pharmacist who responsible to improve patient's quality of life. Doing a library research and work closely with patient and patient's family, really excavated my interest in clinical pharmacy as it is essential to have an advance knowledge of clinical pharmacology. It was inspired me to pursue my dream as a clinical pharmacologist.

Getting a master's education not only equips me with advanced, specialized knowledge in the clinical pharmacology field but also evinces my qualifications for the job as a lecture in the near future and a practitioner in primary health care as a clinical pharmacologist. Those profession will enable me to contribute to my hometown Aceh by sharing knowledge to the future clinical pharmacist. In the other hand, as a practitioner of clinical pharmacology, especially in primary health care, I would be able to help improving patients conditions.

I am highly motivated to pursue my studies in United Kingdom because Studying in the UK offers the chance to experience another culture, perfect my language skills and gain a degree which is recognised and respected worldwide. The university provide excellency, can be completed in a shorter time than those in many other countries, subscribe to equal opportunities policies that aim to ensure that all students and prospective students are treated equally, regardless of gender, ethnicity, nationality or other factors, and provide support service to make overseas students quickly feel like home. Besides, the UK is a vibrant, vital place, alive to new ideas and open to new influences. It will also allow me to understand the education system applied in and I will get a chance to absorb the information, creative idea and motivation from one year studying in UK. I interest in programmes offered by Universities in United Kingdom that facilitate me to acquire core skills, enabling an appreciation of how to apply clinical pharmacological, regulatory and ethical principles to the optimisation of therapeutic practice and clinical research.

Because of my knowledge I got from university, my courage to pursue my dream, and my work experience, I consider myself to be a good candidate for this scholarship. I am young, energetic, hardworking, visionary, motivated, organized and diligent person in the consecution of my goals. Hence, I am particularly committed to share knowledge and information gained from this master program with the decision makers, academia, primary health care and public in general, in the hope that it will give them information which will support the pharmacy development in Indonesia. I will continue to study pharmacy and graduation won't be the end of my education. It will be the beginning of my road to success as a pharmacist, which is what my dream is.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Jan 12, 2012   #2
Hi :) I will try to edit your grammar so that it is easier to read:

Being a great, qualified, and up-to-dateenthusiastic pharmacist is my dream and my goal. It took a long way time to make it happen, along with tears, sweat, and prayfaith . I started frommyeducation with a 3. 5 year advance diploma, andcontinued with 2. 5 years forof undergraduate degree studies and 1 year of a pharmacist profession program, which I am currently taking. These achievements are proof that I am eager to pursue my dream. It ishas not anbeen easy, wayfrom economical side eitherdue to the cost of education, where I covered my tuitution fees on my own.

A 9. 3 SR earthquake and great tsunami whichhad completely devastated Aceh, my hometown in 2004,and it was my turning pointthe motivating factor to get anthe best education as high as possible.

Aceh suddenly becameattracted global attention as aid came in from all over the world. I took part ofassisted in giving emergency aid by joiningworking as an administrative clerk in United Nations of World Food Program in Meulaboh, West Aceh. As a consequences forresult of this work , I took a 1 year break from my college.

Your paper is very well-done and you have and interesting story, besides these grammar issues. Try to improve on your English as best you can. Good luck in your studies :)
OP iepach 1 / 1  
Jan 13, 2012   #3
Thanks a bunch for your feedback jennifer.. I really appreaciate your time to read and fix my grammar issue, this was my first time of putting my mind into writing.. it was fine to talk but, harder when it comes to write. once again, thank you !


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