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"A suitable candidate" - Could you help me out with the Stipendium Hungaricum (Scholarship) essay?

kartoshatatosha 1 / -  
Nov 26, 2021   #1
Here is the prompt:
One of the most important parts of your application is the motivation letter. Its goal is to introduce your background and support your application. In short, its goal is to answer the question:

"Why are you a suitable candidate?"

Write in a clear and logical manner: remember, the way you write and present yourself says a lot about you.

Some points that may help you answer this question:

- Why have I chosen to apply to this programme?
- Why did you apply to study in Hungary?
- What do I expect to gain from my studies?
- Why does my background make me a suitable candidate?
- How will the programme help me to achieve my goals?
- How does your proposed study relate to a particular development challenge or need at the global, national, and/or local level?
- How will you apply your new skills and qualifications when you return home?
- What challenges would you expect to encounter while studying in a foreign country, and how could you prepare for these challenges?

Please write at least 1500 characters, but not more than 4000 characters.

My essay:

Since I was a kid I loved learning languages. Now I know four: Russian (my native), English, German and Azerbaijani. My curiosity for languages brought me to Hungary with its most difficult language in Europe. I assume this is going to be very hard, but since I am already proficient in 4 languages and absorb the language very quickly it is going to be much easier for me compared to other students.

No wonder this program is so popular. The privilege to study at one of the best universities in the world for free is the most attractive aspect of this scholarship. More technologically advanced institutions, as well as better practical opportunities is what makes the Hungarian universities more fascinating than universities in Azerbaijan.

I have lived first eight years of my life in Russia. Even though I lived more in Azerbaijan, I identify personality wise more with the Russian people. While doing research on Hungarian culture I came to realize that Hungarian people have similar personalities to Russians: very hard to make a friend, but when you do, they treat you like family. This is what will make my integration in the Hungarian society much easier.

My mother is a surgeon here in Azerbaijan. A lot of times she would come home and tell stories about the flaws in the medical system. The corruption only makes things worse. Since Hungary is far more developed in medicine, I would like to build a private clinic when I arrive back home. I really love my homeland and it hurts to see so many people lacking satisfactory medical help. However, medical degree is not all there has to be to open and develop a clinic. I need to have entrepreneurial skills, which I plan to develop by attending a few courses and seminars in Hungary. In this case Hungary is also better because the opportunities to gain experience more about business management are extremely limited in my homy country. The skills that I will get in Hungary will help me integrate my knowledge and experience into Azerbaijani society with the aim for it to dissipate among the people.

As it is common for a lot of doctors, I have dreamt about becoming one since childhood. Future experience further confirmed my desires. I remember the first time when my mom taught me how to inject a solution into a vein. She let me try it out on her and it was such a pleasant experience. I felt as if I was already doing it my whole life.

My mother was a real help when I was deciding what I want to do in the future. She tells me a lot about the way the medicine works and about her daily life at work. She was also able to tell me about the medical university degree and how someone should cope with the enormous amount of stress during the studies. This makes me more prepared to study medicine and become a doctor since I am more familiarized with the situation.

My doubts on whether I am qualified enough to study a medical degree have disappeared after I received a bronze award at the International Chemistry Competition (CHEMICO) as well as received two gold medals and one silver medal with a silver cup at the Mathematics Olympiad "Mathematics Without Borders" in Bulgaria. My friends also say that they see a doctor in me because there were many times when I helped them out regarding nutrition.

The world today is developing at a fast pace and technology is now becoming a necessity in every part of our lives, including medicine. Doctors now need to be able to work with technology to improve the quality of their service. I can surely tell you that this will not be the problem for me. I have been continually active with technology since I was a child. In fact, I have been in the Robotics Club at my school and got a gold medal at a Science Fair in the field of robotics.

Character count: 3762
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,289 3984  
Nov 27, 2021   #2
The privilege to study at one of the best universities in the world for free is the most attractive aspect of this scholarship

Wanting to study for free in a foreign land is not an acceptable reason to apply for the scholarship. There needs to be an interest in what the country, the educational system, and the potential internships offers. Use the guid questions to build your reason for wanting to apply for the scholarship. The clues leading to a proper response can be found there.

My mother is a surgeon here in Azerbaijan.

This is of no interest at all to the reviewer, who will base his review of your letter on the prompt requirements. Did you even bother to read the requirements? it is fairly obvious that your letter is not following the required information presentation format. You are about to get placed in the reject pile at this point.

However, medical degree is not all there has to be to open and develop a clinic.

Are you applying for a masters in languages or in medicine? I am confused at this pooint. You were really focused on learning languages for the most part. Now you want to open a medical clinic? Which is it?

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