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Sustainable-Energy-Systems - to write a study objective for the Fulbright scholarship

Ali163 2 / 2 1  
Jan 13, 2020   #1
Hello guys,
I am writing my study objective and it is limited to 250 words, so I need your comments pertaining to my idea and grammatical structure,
I am a Civil engineer, working on solar power and water-wells in rural regions of Afghanistan.

Tips for the Study Research Objectives:

Working in the university's water labs, I learned many useful criteria for water projects, and that interested me in pursuing my career in relevant experiences after graduation. Since I work on solar power projects and water wells equipped with solar panels in the Citizen's Charter program, I have always wondered how to make these projects more efficient. They can also be used for agriculture purposes.

The problem arises when the wells cannot be drilled more than 10 meters due to the presence of saline-aquifers at deep depths, hence, due to the limitation of freshwater in these wells they can only be used for drinking purposes.

Considering the financial situation, and exact study of the area, the most optimal solution I have come up with is to operate a combined system of solar panels and direct sunlight radiation for salinization of this region's groundwater through condensation. In the summer with direct sunlight radiation and the winter with less water requirement, this water will be salinized by solar power. But in turn, people change their irrigation system to drip irrigation to reduce water demand.

That is why I aim to lead the Directorate of the Citizen's Charter Program on the provincial level so that I have sufficient competence in decision-making and helping to implementation of these programs in a more useful way. Firstly, implementing such projects will reduce unemployment -major causes of insecurity- in rural regions and secondly, make people familiar with the new systems that are kind of cultivation.

The opportunity to study my master's in Sustainable-Energy-Systems through highly respected Fulbright scholarship in the U.S is a privilege considering their academic reputation. I look forward to an experience that will enable me to enhance my knowledge of American culture and globalization.

I sincerely hope the admission committee will find my profile well-suited for this life-changing opportunity.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,665 2035  
Jan 14, 2020   #2
There is no true academic journey being told in this essay. You have to show the development of your interest in solar power based on the progression of your academic studies starting from either high school or college. Pertinent seminars that you attended in relation to solar power development may also be considered part of your educational journey. A position and job description based on your current employment should help explain how you became aware of the water problem in Afghanistan. From there, you should explain how you developed your theoretical solution to the problem, which you hope to pursue into an actual solution based on the support for the Fulbright program. I do not see any reference as to how your completing this education will fill a gap in the Afghan workforce. You should fill in that blank. You do not have a forward thinking presentation for your after study goals and career plans. address that as well. This essay is nothing more than a draft outline of what your actual response should contain. Even then, it falls short of expectations.
OP Ali163 2 / 2 1  
Jan 14, 2020   #3
[quote=Holt]There is no true academic journey being told in this essay
Thank you, for your useful comments dear @Holt
but two things should be considered in writing this essay
first, it is limited to 250 words, therefore, should be concise and summarized
second, there is also a personal statement attached to this Study objective, however, the tips above are only for writing the study objective but they are from the time there wasn't any limitation in the size of the text.

waiting for your respond dear @Holt

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