I was able to build networking in more large-scale areas
There is no actual reference of network building here. How did you meet the speaker? How was the relationship cultivated? simply stating a network was built does not make itsv.
to develop networking with my lecturers was to become a Research Assistant for several courses
This is not a networking skill. It is actually a job requirement for research assistants. It cannot be used as a networking reference.
The networking continued
How? There is no evidence of seminars attended , conferences completed, notackle meetings taking place. The networking is always implied but never justified. This is a networking essay that does not have any networking involved. The simplest of which would be a friend introducing you to a person who also became your friend thus creating a future useful network.
International Conference in August 2021
Where you participated as and met who ?
It is the reference to how the network was built and maintained, how these will benefit the program scholars past, present, and future, that make thin essay unusable.