Any advice is welcome, but also please keep note english is not my first language so I'm not very good at writing essays. The essay is currently at 538 words i believe. I would really appreciate your insight.
Thanks
-bombela
Must be from 400-500 words
I can be humorous, serious or somewhere in the middle
Prompt
Tell us about the most significant person, experience or circumstance, which has shaped your life thus far. How has it influenced your character? How might you use what you have learned from it to achieve your goals and ambitions?
Agustin my father the most significant person in my life has been there throughout the best and worst days of my life. He has gone through some very tough times himself, which have taught me many life lessons. Having the loss of his father at the age of ten and the loss of his mother a couple of years after, has made him not burrow down to the ground and hide from life, but instead to take life by the neck, shine and be very successful.
When I think of the person who has come to the United States and has accomplished the American dream my father is the perfect example, he's the hardest working individual I have ever met there isn't one thing he hasn't done for my family. He's been waking up at three a.m. everyday and still does for twenty-two years to go to work, you think about it sounds unreal but the reality is that's how much he loves his family, and how much he is dedicated to providing for his family. He has never one day complained about going to work or helping family with any trouble we are having.
Watching my dad throughout my life has forever changed my character, and my view on life. I can clearly now see what my dad has really done for me, he has given me everything that in his childhood he could never have most importantly the opportunity for and education. The risks he took coming to the United States truly shows the type of man he is, moving here to in order to provide the best possible life for my family and so that I'm never in the brutal position he was in. I can confidently say he has showed me what a real man is; he is a living sculpture of a perfect man, I thank god for having placed him in my life for me to watch, learn and imitate from. He is encouraging me to strive far and work hard to accomplish my goals, this perhaps is the best thing a father could do for his child, encourage his child to chase his dreams no matter what they are and to never to give up. My father has without a doubt showed me to work hard and never give up, even when times are hard. "Having the ability not to give up on what you want in life is the key to life," He told once, I remember the exact words, from that day on I indefinitely became an entirely new person.
Not being able to meet my grandparents is mentally agonizing I completely understand how hurtful it was for my father having experienced the loss of my aunt to cancer, my second mother has left a trial of pain and sorrow but also some positive insight for the future of my career in the medical field. The blessing of having the guidance of my father has shaped my character and has indubitably helped me with both the ambition, and skills needed to keep me moving forward to achieve my ambitions and goals. The distant horizon holds many possibilities, there's no question I'm ready for anything life throws at me.
Agustin, my father the most significant person in my life has been there with me throughout the best and worst days of thick and thin of my life.
Have punctuation! Though your word count further goes up by two, I think those two words, "with me" , is important to have. : )He has gone through some very tough times himself, which have taught me many life lessons. Having the loss of his father at the age of ten and the loss of his mother a couple of years after, has made him not burrow down to the ground and hide from life, but instead to take life by the neck, shine and be very successful.
His own life, which had many tough times, taught me valuable lessons; He lost his father at ten and the mother at twelve. However, he courageously took up the challenges and finally succeeded.I think you better highlight your father's outstanding qualities through actuall happenings rather than just stating them. That would be more conceivable !