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My teacher trusted me to handle my group. Leadership and Influence Essay for Chevening

Sep 12, 2017   #1

a group leader

Hallo, I would be glad if someone can proof read my essay so i will know what part should i revise. Many thanks to anyone who will comment and help me to improve.

Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your networking skills, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.

(minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

I never imagine that life processes sharpen my leadership and grow my willingness to contribute my knowledge to the society, particularly in Educational field. In Senior High School, I was a head of Musical Group. My ability in finding the notes and how I taught my friend made my teacher trusted me to handle my group. My responsibillity was make sure we can play the music beautifully and well-arranged. So, all teachers and students can enjoy the ceremony while it is being held.

Jump to my univesity life's, I was always be a group leader in handling presentation. It started when no one wanted to be a leader and they pointed each other, I ended the situation by pointed myself as their leader. Slow but sure, I got used to it and always offered myself to be the group leader. I learned to arrange the group, finish the project on time, taught them how to do presentation and found the solution together. Also, making sure all the members know their part and other's in general. This process has been built my confidence and i have realized i found my passion in Public Speaking. I didn't think twice when my lecturer offered me a opportunity to become a tutor in Presentation Class. I taught them how to do good presentation and it showed a very good improvement. I felt like i success to make them be better in their presentation.

After finishing my university, i have worked in some schools and I have been promoted in my current work as a manager because the owner had moved to another city. I thought this was my big chance to sharp my leadership wider. My responsibilities are included, handling the office, tutors, helper and make sure the administration and marketing run properly. In my hectic days, i was lucky that i got the chance to join a program called "Kelas Inspirasi" this program aims to aspire the students what they want to become in the future. In a one group, we had various people who work in the different field and they tell to the students about their work and responsibility. I explained about the honor to become a teacher and can help youth generation to become a successful person in the future, especially as a English teacher. It was not easy to break their mindet about English and Teacher because most of them don't get remarkable experience for both of side. Luckily, after my presentation some students who didn't know their obsession showed their interest to become a teacher and start realizing they need English for their future. It makes me think the struggle is just begun and I have to fix the wrong mindset about teacher and English.

(words : 480)
Holt [Contributor] 1506  
Sep 12, 2017   #2
Nasya, you responded to the wrong prompt with this essay. What you wrote about has to do with the leadership and influencing essay prompt. You provided the networking prompt with this essay instead. You need to make sure that you submit the correct prompt with the essay. Otherwise, you could lose the scholarship due to preventable mistakes such as these. As it is, let me tell you right now that this essay will not work as a leadership and influencing essay. It contains too much academic and amateur experience in the discussion when what is required of the leadership and influencing essay is a totally professional representation of that ability. The experiences that you relate would probably work if you were applying for college / undergraduate admission. It is not at the level of a Chevening scholarship application essay. In fact, the essay is so forgettable that the reviewer will not even finish reading it before he decides to reject your application in favor of better qualified and more professional candidates. When you revise this essay to better suit the leadership and influencing prompt, please make sure that you use only your current work experience, even if the leadership and influencing story is just minimal in nature. Only professional experience in relation to the provided prompt will keep your essay in the running for a scholarship consideration.
niputusri 4  
Sep 13, 2017   #3
Hi, Nasya..
Regarding to be able to show leadership and influence skills through your essay, I would suggest you to remove the first paragraph about your leadership in senior high school. That is because not only it is too long time to be used for example, but also high school degree still have general education, not specified yet like in the university. Try to search leadership experience in the university that relate to your future professional plan, then elaborate it to prove that you have that two traits along with your responsibility as leader. Your second paragraph doesn't really strong to represent those skills in yourself.

As you say you are a manager, this is a good point to be more pointed and focused on your professional leadership experience. You should impress the reviewer by explaining how you manage your team against the problems in order to achieve what goal you have set. Don't forget to balance your essay of leadership and influence skills. Be specific about what work/job you did and don't be too general because these won't make your essay noticed.

Btw, I am also writing my essays for Chevening and hope you would check them and give me correction and feedback to make them better.

Good luck for us!!
OP nsybp  
Sep 15, 2017   #4
@Holt Thank you for the constructive advise. I admit i have no idea about what i have to write but i have fixed it. hope it won't be too bad as the first hehe thank you!

@niputusri Thank you Ni, I have focused in my current position. i just didn't have any idea what i wrote, it's good to get inputs so i can do better:)

wohooo! goodluck for us! i will check it soon

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