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"I'm terrified of deep waters" KGSP Personal Statement - Civil & Environmental Engineering


aarongalan123 1 / 1  
Mar 8, 2020   #1

the masters course application



Hi guys! I need a little help with my personal statement for the KGSP, I know is late but, can you help me a little bit? any comment is really appreciated!

In northwestern Mexico, there is a small coast town in the desert perfect for vacations; in the summer of 1999, my family and I took some vacations as my little sister was new to the family. I've never been such a fan of the sea, I'm terrified of deep waters, so, to give me some courage, mi dad took me to the beach and, just as the sea waves touch our feet, we started building sandcastles. He played with my older brothers in the deep sea and then he helped me with the sandcastle, we made huge towers and deep tunnels, "is there anything he can't do?" I asked to myself, I saw him like a superhero that knew everything and did everything, fearless; that was my first approach to geotechnics.

Since I was a little kid, being the middle son in a family of 6 members, I have always identify myself as the mediator of the family, that is something I carry with me until today. My parents always talk to us about what were their ideals as people and how they wanted us to figure it out ourselves; learning from the best, I decided to leave my hometown looking to know me, improve myself and give the best of me.

I've always done a lot of things I love, like play football, play guitar, play videogames, study, or even I like to organize my room or meetings, but I never felt that those things made me be myself. Since I have memory, I've always learned by examples and I've copied the best of each person I met and I like, like their discipline, their character or their routines, but being someone well-respected or someone you look up to can't be copied, that's what I wanted to be.

In the search of being me, I arrived to Yonsei as an exchange student and I was amazed; Korean culture is so different than every other one, I love the mix cuisine culture from Chinese, Japanese or even American influences, I love how you can find so many different religions in one small country, how my schoolmates made me feel like I was his friend all my life (they told me it was the Korean Jeong or something like that), etc. But just as they taught me about their culture, I taught them too; that intercultural exchange made me feel Korea as a second home, but as my second home, I have not yet finished understanding it.

Yonsei focused me on the path of geotechnics and environmental technologies in construction, which was just a small part of what was about to come. On November 2018, in the Mexico City Geotechnics Seminar, Dr. Eun Chul Shin from Incheon University, illustrated us with innovations for shallow and deep foundations, as well as foundation treatment in soft grounds that were used in Korea as an alternative solution to some construction problems, that inspired me to look for alternatives in construction that are not yet seen in Mexico.

These experiences led me to one of the most well-known geotechnical companies in Mexico and, thanks to the mixture of my technical knowledge with my capacity for coordination and mediation. I rose to be the manager of the technical department; I took responsibility for the entire team and gave everything I have every day until we met our goal, concluding in more than 100 construction contracts throughout all the Mexican Republic in less than 3 years of hard work.

Coming back to Mexico, finish my college degree and getting my home place, wasn't what I wanted. Time passed, monotony and routine beat me this time so I decided to take a brake and think about me one more time, and here is where it got me; I'm someone that does not want to be locked, don't want to limit myself, don't want to contain myself, I want to out-rank me, expand my horizons, show myself that I am more capable that I give myself credit, I want to want to do things.

This path showed me that I can do things I believed impossible, however, my purpose doesn't end there; this scholarship will impulse me to be an expert in the field that, rather than propose new solutions in constructions, I could raise my voice with alternatives that, although they cannot improve the environment, will cause the least damage to preserve the environment as we know it so far.

Let's face it, studying a postgraduate course is expensive, that's why I need this scholarship to pay for my expenses during my master's degree, I want to feel safe in a world that terrifies me, like the sea.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,766 4768  
Mar 9, 2020   #2
This is not an essay that will be considered worthy of a GKS masters course scholarship. You did not really read the prompt requirements before writing the essay. You wrote this essay as if you are applying for an undergraduate scholarship instead of a masters course. The prompt for the masters course are:

o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to GKS.
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.

This essay responds to only the reasons for studying in Korea section. The rest of your information presentation is insufficient. It does not address the rest of the discussion requirements for the written interview. It will not get past the screening round at this point. Write a new essay that focuses on your profession in relation to your motivation. Discuss your college education in relation to the time to spent as an exchange student in Korea, and keep the reasons for your wishing to study in Korea. That means the seminar part as conducted by the Korean professors. Strengthen your background in relation to studies and research. Those are the weakest / missing points in this essay.
OP aarongalan123 1 / 1  
Mar 11, 2020   #3
@Holt
Thanks for your advice Holt! I'll write a new one and focus on what you recommend.


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