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Testimony and About Me Scholarship Essay

jjinko 4 / 11  
Jun 15, 2010   #1
Hello there! This essay is for a scholarship for Christian students. I'm submitting it to two different scholarships. 1: Write a testimony, 2: Write about yourself. Please write comments or suggestions or anything! I will appreciate it very much!

When we face difficulties, most of us tend to let it get to us and start thinking negatively and let it ruin our good day. Well, not me. I grew up in an environment where every minute is to be appreciated and cherished despite the hardships around us. I consider myself blessed to be exposed to many experiences that have helped to shape me as a person. I learned important lessons from the action and integrity of my parents, and they have been a great inspiration for me to value what I have.

I have been living in Puerto Rico since I was five years old. My family came here about fourteen years ago because my parents were sent here to lead the Korean church. Since our arrival, our life has not been easy; but as time went by and we faced more and more difficulties, our faith strengthened.

I came to live in a different environment where I was scorned and not well received because I looked Chinese, moreover, because I couldn't speak their language. I was quiet and easily influenced, so other kids, even adults, took advantage of my cowardliness and ridiculously emulated Chinese people: bowing to me with hands together and speaking gibberish. That always got on my nerves, yet, painfully, I let it go. I knew I was powerless; it was me against everyone else. Throughout the years in school, I learned Spanish and English through hard work. Learning two languages at the same time and being scorned at school was difficult at the point I distanced myself from the people around me. I did not count on anyone, play with anyone, and not even speak to anyone except my closest friends. Not only in school, my family also stood out in public. Sometimes, people tried to be funny and mess with us. But my parents taught us to ignore the unpleasant things around us and focus on what is truly important. As time passed, I began breaking the language barrier and became more accustomed to the culture. I improved step by step with the support and example of my parents. My hard work gave me the confidence to work harder, be social, and cherish. Even in challenging times I overcame the odds.

During my life journey in Puerto Rico, I observed and admired the tenacious quality of my parents. We faced each day with economic difficulties and despite being unfamiliar with the culture and language, they never surrendered. They always made time to teach us about God and study the Bible even though they were very busy people. With the adversity they faced through, I believe my parents exemplified the meaning of a humble heart, transferring its meaning on to us. I helped my parents each weekend to clean the church, which was part of my parent's income to pay me and my brothers' private school tuition and in some occasion, to buy food for the family. My responsibility increased as I got older, and it was easy to lose hope about what the future held. However, later I discovered that the darkness cannot put out the light, it can only make God brighter; that I could use my humble experience to be a more understanding human being for others and help others in need.

Two key rules for all troubles to go away, even if they persist for a long time, are to trust God and leave the circumstances to Him. If He lets something to happen, it's to teach us a valuable lesson that we seem to be missing. In the end, when we wait for God, we're waiting for God's very best; it is bound to happen when we do not give up, and just wait and work harder! I have learned so many things about myself ever since I arrived at Puerto Rico. I consider myself blessed being here, learning the principles of life, rather than living a meaningless life in luxuries. I remembered the lesson to serve others and followed my parents' example: they did not surrender when the situation seemed hopeless. Through this I learned that "winners never quit, and quitters never win" as said by Vince Lombardi. I have applied this lesson throughout my life to solve each problem in adapting to a new environment and doing other task. I highly expect this attitude to help me to overcome those problems I may encounter in the future.

Thank you for reading it!!! Please comment!

t1292 11 / 21  
Jun 25, 2010   #2
There are to many grammatical errors to point them all out here. You should have someone ELSE read your essay out loud to you and see if you can catch them that way. Also the VERY first sentence insults the readers it is an assumption that may well anger some people. MOST? really I dont. I know you didn't mean it that way you just wanted your reader to know how strong you were but as a writer it is something you need to look out for. Besides, opem with a MORE interesting sentence something that GRABS the readers attention.

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