THREE CHOSEN COURSES TO DEVELOP MY CAREER IN ANALYTIC FIELD. Studying in UK Question

Hi all, kindly review my essay for studying in UK questions. Any feedback is welcome! Thank you very much.

THREE CHOSEN COURSES TO DEVELOP MY CAREER IN ANALYTIC FIELD

Nowadays, many businesses have applied data-driven decision making to solve their company issue. As a Data Scientist who currently working in management consultant company has given me a valuable experience on solving client's problem in various sectors through data science. My working experience has prepared me to develop my current capabilities in consulting fields by exposing me to various problems in various industries, such as retail, broadcasting, telco, et cetera. My academic background in Mathematics has given me a solid ground to do simple analyses and modeling. However, I realized that I still have a big gap in terms of business strategy and advanced technical skills. My ultimate goal is becoming a talented data scientist which excels in both skills. Therefore, I have chosen three MSc courses that directly link my education and professional background with hoping that these courses will help me filling my knowledge gap and balancing the skills between strategy and technical skills.

My first choice is the MSc Business Analytics provided by XXX. This course is perfectly aligned with my purpose to unlock the key skills for an understanding of how companies can use data to make decisions and improve business performance. They offered the course of business strategy and predictive analytics, which can help me balancing the skills between business strategy and technical skills. Their end of the year practical consulting project is exciting for me since it will allow me to apply my knowledge by solving real-world problems.

As my second choice, the MSc Business Analytics at XXX will broaden knowledge about technical skills with their courses in data structures, machine learning, network analytics and optimization models. These will give me an additional benefit in terms of data science skills set which will make me stands out among another data scientists. Moreover, I'm interested with its collaboration project named XXX which jointly developed between the university and one of top management consultant. This scheme gives an opportunity for students to get consulting experience with business leaders offering data analytic services. With this project, I can hone my consulting skills further.

The MSc Business Analytics from the XXX is my third choice. They are offering to equip their students with the analytical and quantitative skills desired by businesses. I have a confidence that by learning their courses in the quantitative method, consultancy skills and project management will sharpen my business strategy skills. In addition, their three-month business project will allow me to work with professionals and expertise in various industries on how applying the data-driven decision making in their businesses. These learning experiences will help me to excel my performance as a professional data scientist in business analytics field.

I hope that these three courses will help me to develop my current capability in data science and consulting fields, and it will allow me to contribute more in terms of improving the quality of businesses in various industries.

@maknae33 your presentation of your professional background is good but tends to come across as rushed because you use some informal terms such as "et cetera", which is not commonly used in format academic essay presentations. I suggest you remove that term in order to preserve the formality of your presentation.

Next, present your academic background as a separate paragraph. That should not be included in the professional discussion. Remember the standard rule for paragraphs. Only one topic per presentation in order to offer the readers a clear chance to understand what you are trying to say. By presenting your academic background in a separate paragraph, you will be able to better illustrate how your college studies prepared you for your job and why that education is a relevant basis for your interest in these 3 courses. Your academic foundation is just as important as your professional foundation in this instance because, if you don't have the academic background for the courses you have chosen, you will find it hard to complete your masters studies.

As for the rest of the essay, I don't recommend changing anything because the presentation ties in with your introductory discussions.